Granddaughters and Grandpas 爷爷

4 years ago today, my 爷爷 – my grandpa on my dad’s side – passed away at the young age of 96. If you want to virtually meet him, I posted his bio and the tribute I gave at his memorial service: Tribute to Yeye (gramps). I do miss him, but I know and trust that he is in a much better place in our Father’s house. I think about him and my gramps on my mom’s side who is still in the hospital. I miss hanging out with grandpas. Maybe just in my family but I feel there is something special between a grandfather and granddaughter. I don’t know if that’s because I sometimes act like a 5 year old with my grandpa, or sometimes I treat my grandpa like a 5 year old, but whatever the case, I used to have a lot of fun with my gramps, even as Alzheimers got the most of him.

There’s the theory that you should not speak in baby talk to children. You should talk to them as adults and not dumb down their brain development. Some say that as you age and move into your elder years, your mental state becomes like that of a child. So, I wonder if that theory then reverses itself once you grow old. As people reach those late years and especially as they start losing their mental capacities, I wonder if it’s helpful to talk to them as children – not to disrespect their intelligence but simply to do what you have to do to get them to laugh and smile through the gunk that comes with aging.

Hanging with my gramps'
childhood friend and his wife

My mom and I are in Shanghai for a couple of days before we head off to explore Luoyang and meet my pops in Heze. We’re staying at my aunt – not an actual aunt but basically it’s my grandpa (mom’s side)’s childhood friend and classmate from the little village in Anhui province… his daughter’s apartment. With all this stuff about grandpas on my mind, this apartment we’re staying in happens to next door to this aunt’s mom and dads apartment. I also call the grandpa 爷爷, like I did my late grandpa, and the grandma 奶奶. Such a cute little old couple. 爷爷 is 97 years old and super cute. When he laughs and opens his mouth to say something, it just brings a smile to my face. People say you have “fu qi” fortune to live this long and praise it, but the reality is that in many cases, the health changes that accompany living so long brings down the “standard of living”, not economically but socially, mentally, emotionally, physically… as you reach those “fortune” years. The grandma seems sad for him – she is still so mentally and physically strong. Grandpa seems content despite the physical and mental deterioration, but it’s hard especially on grandma watching him change. Anyways, thankful for this brief opportunity to hang with 爷爷.