"I Have A Dream"

I was looking through my old files at home in search of something, and came across a short essay I had written in 3rd grade or so.  I thought it was pretty interesting what I chose to write my essay on, even as a child.  Scary, yet quite amusing.  Reminds me that God does create and mold each of us in His image and for His greater purpose.  I guess it's always been in my heart...

Peace and Pollution

I have a dream to have peace.  Without peace, there will be more wars and fights.  Children may even learn that you should fight.  Without peace, this world might never survive.

My other dream is to stop the pollution.  One day, the pollution will stop and there will be fresh air to breathe.  The world may never survive if violence and pollution don't stop.

Happy Thanksgiving

...a day where we stuff our faces, enjoy time with family, and thank God for His blessings upon the family over another year... but did you know, it was not a national holiday until 1963?  Yes, the first Thanksgiving was in 1621 when the Pilgrims feasted with the Native Americans, but it was not until November of 1963, while in the middle of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national Thanksgiving Day to be celebrated on the last Thursday of November. I thought I might share his proclamation below, as a reminder of what this day is about and how it was originally proclaimed to be:

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God. 

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict, while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that...

... while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union. In testimony whereof I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

can i just complain...

can i just complain and vent for a second?  there is just TOO much that needs to get done in life. too many relationships to care for... too much work... too many tasks... too many requests... too many commitments... too many of everything...

often... like right now... i feel caught in the middle of things... of people... and i ask myself, what the heck am i supposed to do. it's especially hard when you love both people and ya get stuck in between... all the time.  somehow, i always end up in the middle, and i'm tired of it.  i wanna say to them... grow up... why don't you know how to love and forgive... Jesus taught us, didn't He?  why don't you get it?  is it that hard?  maybe i don't understand but Jesus does.  why can't you go to Him and instead of me?  put aside your egos and frustrations... LOVE. FORGIVE.

i have one of those old school WWJD straps that's been attached to my backpack since who knows when... probably middle school or something... i'm gonna start wearing it on my wrist, and flashing that to people when they've got a problem or complain about stuff.

and... I'm stuck in a rut... and i can't seem to get out.  i've got some stuff i need to write up related to my social enterprise with a firm due date... but i can't get it on paper.  God I need your wisdom... I need your direction... you put me here... this is your enterprise... this is your vision... help me put it on paper... all for your glory. please... my head is spinning. i'm desperate. i'm tired and overwhelmed. help me please. amen.

CALL+RESPONSE: What's your response?

Another event I attended...actually twice because it was SO powerful and I wanted to bring friends.  CALL+RESPONSE, a "rock"umentary film that reveals the world’s 27 million dirtiest secrets: there are more slaves today than ever before in human history. www.callandresponse.com for more information.  Wanted to share some notes I captured from that event as well:

• for all of us who are free, it's our obligation to do something.  if we do nothing, nothing will happen
• free your mind and your a__ will follow
• open source activism
• 2m kids are sold into sex slavery each year
• music is the only thing that can enter a person's heart and mind without permission
• most of us are in between a state of obliviousness and a paralysis of depair.  
• the cost to set someone free is approximately how much Americans spend on Valentine's day
• I don't want to wear someone's despair
• a slave worker in India, when asked how he keeps going despite the torture and conditions said that he takes pride in making something beautiful...
• slavery is about economics.  it's not about people trying to be mean to each other.
  
• in 1787, a group of men chose to get around a table and said to end the British slave trade.  that's like saying in today's terms that we would end the global automotive industry
• we need a 21st century abolitionist movement
• justice is what love looks like in public  

what's your response?

Oxfam Action Corp: Impact of Climate Change event

Last Tuesday, I attended an event/talk on the impacts of climate change, sponsored by Philly Oxfam's Action Corps.  Before I purge my notes, thought I might document some and share it here, more so I won't forget.  Diane Loucks, leading Mayor Nutter's taskforce on hunger spoke briefly and introduced Lance Simmens who currently serves as Gov Rendell's Special assistant for Intergovernmental Affairs.


Diane Loucks

• 1 in 5 in Philadelphia don't have enough food to meet basic needs... that equates to about 300,000 people... that's like all the people in Pittsburgh living in hunger.
• 1 in 3 live in poverty
• this is a slient but real problem here in Philly

Lance Simmens

• there is no issue more important than climate change
• the most vulnerable and worst hit by climate change are always the poorest - look at katrina and the lower 9th ward in new orleans.
• Churchill's comment in the Speech of Commons on November 12, 1936, that "The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to its close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences." is now.  That period has arrived.
• there's enough energy in the sun to power the world
  
• china, usa, and indonesia are top 3 carbon emissions contributors
• the global climate is a non-linear system.  1 degree change at the equator is equivalent to 12 degrees at the poles.
  
• Thomas Friedman: "we have a subprime culture".  we need to change the way we think and act!
  
• if the US had continued to censure oil like we did between 1976-1985, we would not have needed Persian Gul oil in 1995. 
• it's not about politics - this transcends politics - this is so much bigger than politics... it's a global problem.
• deforestation - we lose 1 acre / second.  every 20mins, that's 1200 acres taken down for development.  trees absorb CO2 and covert it into O2.  WE NEED THAT!
• we have to be the "regeneration" - recycle, reuse, reengineer... otherwise our lives will be reduced, redacted, etc. we need to revive America.  Redefine, reenergize, revive this world - grab the challenge and reenergize the world.
• BANANA - build absolutely nothing anywhere near anything!  -Thomas Friedman
• lack of leadership is not the problem - it's a lack of statesmanship.  statesmanship entails wisdom and leadership.  there are very few out there.  
• we need to change the system - the only people capable of changing the system are the ones who benefit most from it.  government exists to correct market deficiencies.  we have the know-how, now we need the political will to do it.  we need to tell politicians its important - that's how we will change the system.  it's a tremendous challenge.  
• 風向轉變時,有人築牆,有人造風車 : when the direction of the wind changes, some (people) build walls, some (people) make windmills.

An updated testimony

So I'm finally formally committing to the Church I've been attending for the past few years by becoming a member... and as part of that membership process, I had to submit my testimony. I was going to take the easy route and copy and paste one I had written a few years ago, but... that didn't feel right... anyways, I thought I might share it on my blog too - after all.. it's a public profession so what do I have to hide...

..........................................

It wasn’t one specific moment or emotional experience that brought me to Christ, but it was through much prayer from others, youth group meetings and Bible studies, and “blind” discipline during my middle and high school years that caused me to see and accept Jesus as my Savior. It was in college when I feel God really reinforced my commitment to Him, opening my eyes to just how wretched a sinner I am and how much I needed Him in my life. In hindsight, I can see how God had planned and guided every step of the way. It’s a life-long journey, and God continues to reveal Himself to me in different ways, teaching me new and challenging things, and loving me for who I am – sinner and all. In my testimony here, I’m going to share the beginning of this journey and briefly touch on some recent experiences of how He’s working in my life and leading me along the journey today.

I grew up in a typical Asian-American family, where education came first, arguably even before God. From as early as I can remember, we attended Church services on Sundays, but we were never a very “religious” family. I knew the Bible stories from Sunday school, but they didn’t seem all that different from the fairytales and short stories like Little Red Riding Hood that I read at home, with the exception of the Bible stories perhaps being a bit less animated. I knew what “to do” and how “to act”, defined not explicitly by Biblical standards but by parental disciplining simply based on the common morals of our culture, which allowed us to easily fit into the typical Church-goer crowd.

It wasn’t until my early middle school years when I began to even begin comprehending God’s love for me. Albeit it was still somewhat superficial, it was the start of my spiritual journey. Sunday Church services were supplemented by Friday night youth discipleship classes where our adolescent brains were challenged by theological concepts, biblical teachings, and learning what being a Christian truly meant. Admittedly, the material we covered often surpassed my intellectual capacities; however those lessons began to form a strong Christ-centered foundation in my heart and mind. I began to see how much God loved me, and how much I needed Him. I am eternally thankful for our youth pastor who shepherded us during those formative years. I can still hear his voice as he told us every week that he prayed for each of us by name every day, and as he challenged us to read our Bibles and to be disciplined about having a regular quiet time with God. I know God heard our pastor’s prayers for us. It is obvious by looking at how the majority of us who were part of the youth group during those years have grown as men and women of God, committing our lives to Him.

I was baptized in March of 1994. I professed my belief and faith in God and called on Jesus to be my personal Savior. As I think about it today, sometimes I question whether I understood the public profession I was making or whether I was jumping on the bandwagon of being baptized since many of the other youth group kids did too – almost as if it being a “rite of passage” of some sort. But re-reading some old prayers from my journal that I had written during those years, I cannot doubt my faith and commitment that I had made then. I was simply an infant in my walk with God, and still had and continue to have so much more to learn.

During my high school years, I yearned to grow that personal relationship with Him, especially as the stresses of high school academics, extracurriculars, and social peer pressures grew, but I struggled. I practiced “blind” discipline, doing things like quiet times to check it off the list of things to do, reading Oswald Chambers and my student bible, and even journaling my prayers. I didn’t feel very close to God. Our relationship felt unilateral – I prayed a bunch of stuff and repeated it almost daily, and often did not hear a response. I taught Sunday school classes, lead praise and worship, and organized all sorts of activities and events for my youth group and Church. By the time I graduated high school, I was tired and burnt out from “Church stuff”, and while I yearned to hear Him and experience His love, I did not know how to. My life was filled with activities, commitments, and responsibilities from Church, school, and other extracurriculars.

As I entered college, I had planned to find a Church, but told myself that I was not going to serve or become too involved just yet. I wanted a break, I wanted to absorb and learn, I wanted to experience the different facets of college life and explore the great city I was now living in. But God had other plans for me as almost immediately after moving in, I had strangers contacting me to attend Christian fellowship events. I wondered if somehow there was some sort of “Christian” label attached to my name and email. 

I participated here and there in different fellowship activities, but was dissatisfied with the community who seemed to be so inwardly focused. The more dissatisfied and lonely I grew, the more I felt God calling me to stay and be part of that community. I didn’t understand why. At the same time, I had never felt so close to God before. He was teaching me so much through sermons and talks, the Bible, and through other “random” occurrences. Despite having read the passage in the past and not getting much from it other than a story, God put Luke chapter 5 in front of me one afternoon – the story about Jesus calling His disciples – and He dug deep into my heart, convicting me of the depravity of my sinfulness, and yet despite the wretchedness of that sin, He still wanted me to be part of His team, and to partner with Him in reaching our world. I was floored by both my sin and by His love. I realized to what extent I did indeed need my Savior, and sought to gain a deeper understanding of His love for me. I was in awe. I was in love. I was getting to know Him at a personal level, and it was awesome. All I wanted to do was get to know Him more and share this love with others. 

Since that experience my freshman year, it’s been my priority to seek God’s direction in all things that I do. God has given me a heart for loving and caring for His people – that is something I had known since a child. Prior to college, I had thought that would equate to helping people through being a medical doctor. However, during college, despite my extreme aversion, God took that passion for helping people, provided experiences to show me the extent of the social needs of the impoverished around the world, and showed me the influence business and for-profit strategies could have towards effecting positive social change and bring social justice. As He led my reluctant soul into the for-profit business world, I began to see why he wanted me there: 1) to be a witness to my colleagues around me; and 2) to build the skills and experiences, and apply them to serve the poor around the world.

As I look back at the past 5-6 years working for Lincoln Financial, I recall periodically questioning why God had placed me there. I wondered if I had heard God wrong and instead let the words of my practical family transcend my hearts desires. But God would remind me why when I needed to be reminded. Every role I held and all the seemingly “random” projects and relationships He placed in front of me, I can now see how purposeful they were and how God was using different experiences to teach me a new thing or sharpening a skill or characteristic. All of those experiences collectively have shaped my thinking about our world and around addressing global poverty and justice issues. 

I’m currently at a crossroads of significant change. I feel Him asking me to step out of the security and stability of the “boat” I currently sit and work in and from. He’s asking me if I truly trust Him, if I’m committed to Him and His kingdom. He’s assuring me that I am ready, that He’s prepared and equipped me with what I need, and that all I need for this next step is to trust Him and have faith. He’s given me a passion, a vision, and a strategy. He’s given me a network of peers to pray and support me. I’m excited to take up the charge, but at the same time terrified and so insecure, but I am learning daily to lean fully on Him. I would desire to be in no other place than in the arms of my Heavenly Father, holding me and preparing the path as I walk in faith, working with His greater Church body, together, building His global ministry and kingdom.

Yankees win!

I was a bit torn throughout, but I think my heart was leaning towards the Yankees all the way... sorry to all my friends who are Phillies fans...  one thing I forgot about was when I was 8, 9, or 10 or something, my friend Nancy and I were the two girls who were CRAZY about baseball.  I mean, we traded baseball cards with each other, created our own fantasy league teams (without actually officially playing), and would look up all the player stats on Prodigy... back way when.  We even created our own company... recently I unveiled a business card that Nancy and I must have put together for our company... Metankee.  I loved the Mets. Nancy loved the Yankees.  Mets + Yankees = Metankee.  Yes, we were strange children.

Anyways, I'm amazed at how international the Yankees are.  As the players were getting their moments on camera, they all spoke with accents. And how cool was it to see Matsui win the MVP, speaking in his native tongue, using a translator.  How cool is that!!!  Seeing and hearing the team reminded me of the diverse country we live in.  Another cool thing... there are so many Christians on the team.  I don't mean just the traditional periodic church goers, but devout believers who get the Gospel.  I read some commentary that you'd often see Rivera reading his Bible in the dugout... and that he wants to be an evangelical pastor after he retires... and there's Teixeira, Pettite,... and others...  and what's really cool is that they got up to the mic and boldly thanked God... not in that generic way, but you could tell there was something deeper there...

Anyways, didn't turn the game on until the 6th inning because my roommate and I had some friends over who share a similar heart for social issues and social justice.  Really great conversation over an awesome thai curry that Jenny, my roommate made. Yummy...  alright... need some sleep... desperately.