so thirsty... filled by Him and slobbered in doggy love

i'm out in LA area for my cousin's wedding.  it's a cousin who i haven't seen since we were 3 years old... a cousin that i'm not close to at all but we reconnected over facebook a couple years ago.  when she asked if we would come to her wedding... at first, it seemed kind of strange... like i don't really know you... but then, i realized it's not that strange at all... at the end of the day, family is family.  as we caught up on the past 20-30 year of life, i can't help but excited about many more memories in the making in the future with both her, her sister, and her new husband... and her mom.

it's funny when her mom first saw my bro and i at the rehearsal dinner, her immediate thought was "wow, that girl looks like connie (her other daughter)".  then we introduced ourselves and it was a joyful little reunion.  anyhow, it's been fun reconnecting and all, but exhausting.  mingling with parent generation chinese people, making conversation in chinese with distant relatives sitting at the same table is nice but so tiring.  honestly it's hard enough in english... add in chinese into the mix... tiring.

my brother is here too which calls for some late nights. so after family event, we go out with his buddies, then come home late, then i get up early to meet up with my friends early in the morning for breakfast or something, and then back to family stuff... yes i am pooped!  traffic in la does not help!!  felt so dry and prached...  i was so craving Him and His community... so thirsty...  desperate... and thankful i got more than my fill as i parted ways with family and drove down south to my friend jane's bf's church near san diego... late but in time for plenty of good worship... and then topping it all off with some good 'ole dog therapy...  dogs make me happy... like the cherry on top of a sundae...

learning to just "be"

this is what is on my heart.  this is what He is trying to teach my hard, stubborn heart.  To know and trust Him for my life is hard.  To just "be" and be comfortable with that is near impossible for me... He tugs more at my heart because that is the point - it is not meant to be comfortable.  Ever since I was a child, I would be setting up the next thing... setting goals... challenging myself... preparing for the future... whether it was with sports, music, clubs, fun, youth group, life, etc...  sitting and just being was something I was never good at.  it didn't matter if there was opposition... it didn't matter if my parents told me there's no way... i would do what it took, boldly reaching out and networking, writing letters, researching, training, asking and sometimes pleading, doing whatever it took.

how many "random" messages does He have to give me before I listen.  whether it's just these phrases echoing through my mind..."to be"... to abide in Him... to be like the lilies in the field that just "are"... or something I read last night that referred to Matt 6:33 "seek ye first the kingdom of God", and continues by saying "we argue in exactly the opposite way -- 'But I must live; I must make so much money; I must be clothed; I must be fed.'  The great concern of our lives is not the kingdom of God, but how we are to fit ourselves to live.  Jesus reverses the order:  Get rightly related to God first, maintain that as the great care of your life, and never put the concern of your care on the other things.

And then... a similar message was written into my heart during the message at Church today.  In particular, a poem about a weaver... I'm not sure if this is the exact poem as I randomly googled for it, but nonetheless this gets at the point that I needed to be reminded of...

The Weaver, Anonymous
My life is but a weaving, between my God and me, I do not choose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Ofttimes he weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper, and I the underside.
Not till the loom is silent, and the shuttles cease to fly,
Will God unroll the canvas, and explain the reasons why
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful weaver's hand
As threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.

He knows, He loves, He cares,
Nothing this truth can dim.
He gives His very best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.

I want to just "be"... and indeed leave the choice with Him... but turning that concept into daily life is hard.  but, i know it is worth it so day-by-day, as He molds me and guides the path, i will walk in trust and faith... at least i will try, and probably fail here and there along the way... 

What's amazing that as we step in faith, I already see Him answering... even this evening through a simple and much needed time of sharing and prayer with a sista. what a blessing... 

stripped of dignity

The feeling I had today as my Dr. pulled out a long needle and a vial and told me to drop the pants and lean over the table. I mean... I had a feeling it was coming given my bout of oxygen deprivation and messed up bronchial tubes this week... but it's just not cool. Why can't u stick it in my arm or anywhere else... and to take it one step further... I had to wait for him to put a bandaid on my bum. Aiyayai.... is this too much information? Sorry.. its what's on my mind.

I think its working already tho... which I'm super thankful for. Haven't been eating, sleeping, or simply living well. With the big shot + oral + inhaled stuff... I feel like I could really bulk up if I started weightlifting today.

Oh man tho I do miss having a good insurance plan with good prescription coverage.. drugs are freakin expensive... oh well.. Whatcha gonna do about it...

Ready to enjoy some good o2... bring it on.

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"Careful Unreasonableness"

A couple days after I got back from Asia, I had the last minute but awesome opportunity to see one of my favorite people who was visiting her mom for Mother's Day and for her birthday.  Anyhow, back in HS she gave me a Oswald Chambers "My Utmost..." journal.  It somehow came up in conversation and I was determined to find it...  and so, I did.  It's kind of fun re-looking at this.  My friend gave it to me on January 5, 1997 for a "belated" Christmas present.  I read a couple of my first journal entries into this journal... quite funny and interesting to think about what my struggles and such were back then - some the same, some different.  Anyhow, I decided I'm going to go through this journal again and read day by day according to the date... duh... last night the entry was exactly what I needed to hear... and so relevant to what others who i was sharing with earlier in the day... God's timing is sweet.  so, i'm sharing it here:

May 18 - Careful Unreasonableness

Matt. 6:26, 28 "Behold, the fowls of the air... Consider the lilies of the field."

Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they simply are!  Think of the sea, the air, the sun, the stars and the moon -- all these are, and what a ministration they exert.  So often we mar God's designed influence through us by our self-conscious effort to be consistent and useful.  Jesus says that there is only  one way to develop spiritually, and that is by concentration on God.  "Do not bother about being of use to others; believe on Me" -- pay attention to the Source, and out of you will flow rivers of living water.  We cannot get at the springs of our natural life by common sense, and Jesus is teaching that growth in spiritual life does not depend on our watching it, but on concentration on our Father in heaven. Our Heavenly Father knows the circumstances we are in, and if we keep concentrated on Him we will grow spiritually as the lilies.  

The people who influence us most are not those who buttonhole us and talk to us, but those who live their lives like the stars in heaven and the lilies in the field, perfectly simply and unaffectedly.  Those are the lives that mold us.

If you want to be of use to God, get rightly related to Jesus Christ and He will make you of use unconsciously every minute you live.

(My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers)

be still... i am yours...

starting ur own biz is hard.  it's hard because i don't want what the world wants... so at least i say so but inside there's still that tug that pulls me towards the cares of the world.  i care what He wants, but it's really hard.  so many voices, so many opinions, so many things that make sense according to your training but may not make sense in the bigger His eyes picture.  things that are counter-everything you've been taught in the academic and professional world. it's like being choked.  i want to give up.  i want to run away.

earlier today i had a meeting with a lady who's generously helping me with some of my brand identity work simply because she likes what i'm trying to do... but as we talk more and more, i don't really know if what we are discussing is what He wants.  i feel like as we get into discussion, she's leading me another way which makes sense from a worldly sense, but it's not where i was going.  it's an uncomfortable place to be in because from a business standpoint, what she says makes sense.  i find myself jumping on her bandwagon.  but then inside something doesn't feel right.  i feel uncomfortable... confused... lost... maybe it's insecurity... maybe it's the tug that I need to re-focus on Him...  gosh my wandering mind and heart... it's hard.  i had to stop working on the brand identity stuff and shift to something else and get my mind off of it...  

but as i sit here in today's virtual office at sbux, pandora streams in the background and the familiar songs play and the words are minister to my heart...

When the oceans rise and thunders roar... I will soar with You above the storm... Father you are King over the flood... I will be still and know You are God... Find rest my soul... In Christ alone... Know His power... In quietness and trust (Hillsong, be still)

... you catch me when i fall... you told me who i am... i am yours...   whom shall i fear... i am yours... i am yours... (casting crowns, who am i)

..it's you i live for everyday... it's you i live for everyday... it's you i live for everyday... (hillsong, everyday)

thanks...

date with grandma

i went up to visit my grandma yesterday.  it's been awhile since i last saw her, and a visit was long overdue.    now that my parents are in asia, i feel an added responsibility to care and love her even the more.  not that anyone has said i need to.. and my parents, living still quite a distance from her, didn't see her all that much, but, but i guess i've always had a heart for the lonely... for the elderly... and, well, she's my grandma.  she even mentioned that now that my parents are away, it feels like someone is missing, even though they are only a phonecall away.  anyways...

first on our agenda, she asked if i could take her to visit her friend and drop off some home cooked food she made for her.  i truly was touched by my 87 year old grandmom's heart.  her friend that she met at a senior day care center is only in her 60s, but was caught in gunfire and was paralyzed from the waist down nearly 30 years ago.  she has a husband and 2 kids, but it sounds like they are all not very close to her.  in fact, she actually lives by herself in a low-income, senior citizen community.

despite the age gap, they are like "2 peas in a pod".  i felt so blessed to be able to finally meet her, and she seemed happy to finally meet me after all these years.  like any older asian person, she insisted on giving me things... like trident gum packs and reeses cups and random snacks... many of which my own grandmother bought for her at her request.  such an interesting relationship.  usually, it's my aunt/uncle. my parents, or me taking her to buy things for her.  sometimes we just bring it over to her house, and other times, we'll take her shopping to buy what she needs.  my grandma is very independent, so she will take public transportation out on her own to the grocery store or to the mall to wander and buy things, but sometimes bigger, heavier things she needs to rely on others for.   but seeing her take on that role to buy things for her friend that she cannot get on her own because of her health and the challenges of navigating the wheelchair... was just such an image of God's love being poured out through His children, as helpless and needy as we can be in other areas.  my grandma lives simply and has bad knees, suffers from a handful of medical issues, and cannot get around very well, yet her heart is filled with compassion towards this friend and does whatever she can to help.  He places people in our lives to love, to serve, to give what we can.  I was so blessed to see my grandma do this.  Praying that this lady comes to know the God that my grandma and I love and serve and praise.

afterwards, we headed to palisades mall to wander around and eat.  she wanted to go lingerie shopping... not quite what i had thought we'd do, but if i don't take her, than who will.  she does take public transport to the mall by herself sometimes, but she wouldn't know where to look or how to buy the specific things she's looking for.  and she's got 4 sons, and it's not really something you ask your son to help you with...  so i was happy to take her lingerie shopping...  we ended up just eating in the food court.. more options, easier for 2 people...  i wanted to take her to get a manicure together (we did that a few years ago on a date) but she insisted against it.  she's a saver, you see, and with no upcoming occasions, no matter how cheap it might be, she said no.  and as i pleaded one more time, she said, "God wouldn't want us to waste money."  Amen grandma.  that closed that deal.  we continued wandering around the mall and then went back to her place.  Dropped her off and then headed back to my parents house and then home to philly.

fun times with grandma.

happy birthday to my sister and best friend!

today I celebrate my late sister, my best friend, my dog's birthday. yes, she passed away quite a few years ago, but she is always in my heart and I miss her every day! happy birthday goldie!

reposting link to the eulogy/memorial that my dad wrote for her that i had posted on my blog years back:

truly knew how to enjoy retirement

Honoring Reverend Wilkerson

On my way back from China, I heard the news that Reverend David Wilkerson, the founder of the Church I called home during my college years, Times Square Church, had suddenly died in a tragic car accident and was called home to our Heavenly Father.  At the time, I was shocked to hear the news and in curiosity, canvassed the ultimate source of information - google - for news on what had happened.  While I have not regularly attended that Church in quite a few years, it is a body that I continue to think about and visit when I am in NYC.  It is a body that has spoke truth into my own life over the years.  It is a body that inspired me to live faithfully and boldly... to worship... to worship freely and as the spirit leads... to love beyond human-made barriers.

As a college student, I didn't always appreciate Pastor Wilkerson's preaching because it made me feel uncomfortable... sometimes prophetic.. serious business... but that is what I needed - that is a voice that NYC needed... that the world needs more of.  I repent for the immaturity of my heart.  Pastor Wilkerson is someone who feared the Lord... and that is something I could not swallow then because I did not understand.  That is a lesson God is still teaching me right now.  I thank God for this faithful servant who transformed NYC.. who changed lives... who brought light into darkness... who brought so many to know Him... someone who loved Him and wasn't afraid to speak truth in the midst of darkness.  I've been following the news and watching recent times square church sermons, and yesterday was going to attend the memorial service in nyc but instead watched it online live streamed around the world.  I'm saddened by this loss, but also so encouraged by the response I've been reading and watching.  His life is truly a testimony to many, including me.  His life challenges me to live a life worthy of His calling.  My life today doesn't reflect that.  I have much refinement, much character development needed.  I'm thankful to serve the God Pastor Wilkerson worshipped.  I'm thankful to be on the same team as him.  I want to carry on the charge God gave him... the charge He gave to us all.  I need to step out in boldness... to proclaim His love... for His glory.

I hope anyone who sees this post will watch a recording of the memorial service and be challenged by the service to live a life worthy of our calling.  Rev Wilkerson Memorial Service

Also wanted to share some snippets that really touched and spoke to me during his memorial service honoring this man, as his son-in-law described.. with "single minded devotion to Christ". 

When Wilkerson's grandsons were questioning their faith, they asked their grandfather: "If God is really there, why is there so much suffering in this world? Why so many hungry people in the world. Why all the genocide, atrocities, crisis, natural disasters in the world."  P. Wilkerson's response: "Boys I don’t have the answers to those questions any more than you do. I’m not going to sit here and throw a bunch of scriptures at you.  #1 the people who complain the most about this question do the least about it. #2 personally I don’t even bother myself with the question anymore. I just intend to spend the rest of my life helping the most hurting people and feeding the most hungry mouths that I can"...  which he did faithfully for a lifetime.

A friend of Pastor Wilkerson's who went the day after the accident to the scene.  He sat there and cried and said "here we are again with that question again -- why would you let such a wonderful man of God die in a manner like this.  why not let him go quietly in his sleep."  but God spoke to him very clearly… this accident happened near an artesian well that people go to fill up water all the time.  And he was reminded... "Bro Dave was just like this well. His life was an artesian well that just kept giving and giving. It was almost as if He allowed Bro Dave to come and finish up what he was saying to him.. and he could hear in the voice so well… don’t let the well run dry."

And the challenge his son-in-law gave in his closing: "if Bro Dave has touched your life... or some other man or woman of God has touched your life.. or if God himself has sovereignly touched your life.. I challenge you today, then pass it on.. pay it forward... let the rivers of living water pour out of your life just like they did David Wilkerson.  Don't just love in words...love with your deeds. Don’t go pat your neighbor on the back and say God bless you. Be warm, be filled. Do something about it.... He didn't just talk.  he didn't just pat people on the back and say God bless you, hope things get better for you.  He did something about it."

Teresa Conlon shared about the olympic torch... "to be successful pass, that torch has to be lit... the race we continue today is not to the swift but to he who runs and passes it lit.  i've been handed a torch, not because i was the fastest but because i stretched out my hand to receive it, burning.  thank you for being that bright light to us... your love for the Holy Spirit has deeply impacted us."

A 4th grader from Arkansas wrote a letter to Gary Wilkerson, Pastor Wilkerson's son: "I’m sorry to hear your dad died.  It is good to know that he was a Christian so that there is a great chance that he may have ended up in heaven.  I feel in my heart he went to heaven but I’m still going to send money to his ministry." And his son continued: "The greatest joy is that he is in heaven.  The greatest joy is that he dragged a lot of people with him to heaven."

other quotes throughout the service:

• when you speak, you have to be vulnerable
• We are the recipients of God’s grace, and his ministry and his generosity
• Today we stand here and we thank him for for the many lives he touched because he was willing to stand before God on our behalf...  he was willing to weep day and night for the ministry, for his people for his family, for his friends..
• This generation needs people who preach wheat and not chaff.. fire and not fluff... willing to bring  the hammer down again uncompromisingly who need the word of the Lord.
• The heart of the church is grace, mercy, and love… 
• It’s not by works of the flesh… it’s by faith in Christ. The power to cleanse and heal your body…
• My prayer is that the holy spirit would always be in charge. God has always protected us. I don't think there is any power on earth that can move us. because God has set His hand upon us.
• Devil can’t kill you without God’s permission. And if God permits it, then instant glory… instant glory…

And to close this post with P. Wilkerson's own words... in his final blog post, posted the date of the tragic accident:

To those going through the valley and shadow of death, hear this word: Weeping will last through some dark, awful nights—and in that darkness you will soon hear the Father whisper, “I am with you. I cannot tell you why right now, but one day it will all make sense. You will see it was all part of my plan. It was no accident. It was no failure on your part. Hold fast. Let me embrace you in your hour of pain.”

Beloved, God has never failed to act but in goodness and love. When all means fail—his love prevails. Hold fast to your faith. Stand fast in his Word. There is no other hope in this world.

week one in america

He knows what I need...

it's hard coming back to america, to your friends, to your community after being away for a few weeks. it's hard because yes, of course i'm happy to see my friends... i'm happy to sleep in my room and bed... i'm happy not to have to live out of a backpack... i'm happy to breathe the clean air.. i'm happy to see the beautiful blue skies and the wonderful bright sunshine...

but...
you have to deal with the realities of jetlag and re-adjust back into a regular schedule... catching up on things is a pain and takes time... and seeing friends is awesome but sometimes you just don't know what to say. it's hard to summarize a trip without going into minute details that most likely will bore anyone. I'm also chewing and working some things with God, like I should always be, but there's a few specific things that's pressing on my heart. I've been calling it processing... cuz I don't know what else to call it and it seems to be a generic enough term that folks understand.

through this all... it has been so clear that He has been orchestrating every day for me to allow me to ease back into life here... starting right with day 1. the rest i got, the friends i saw, the questions they asked, the jetlag i had that woke me up early to spend some wonderful qt with Him, my best buddy who happened to be in town for mother's day that i got to see b/w the random hours of midnight and 3am, etc. the list goes on... it may not seem like anything big but i know that it was He who orchestrated this all.

It seems that I am already in the normal swing of things... hitting up my virtual office at random coffee shops around town. It's good to be back. I'm hoping to take advantage of this jetlag and continue this go to bed early (for me) and waking up early thing... it's been good... it's been good to start the day each morning with Him, at an hour when things are still quiet and the air feels fresh. It has been good.

stepping back into the states

on friday may 6 at 12:10pm, I left Shanghai to arrive in San Francisco on friday may 6 at 7:35am. It's like i never left... in fact, i even gained a few hours. I love that about flying west from Asia.

So i couldn't sleep on the flight... which will only be trouble later as i wait for my connecting flight to philly... thinking about junk... didn't even watch any movies... anyways, i'm in downtown san francisco right now waiting to meet up with my college friend lynn (yay!!). i'm sitting in side at a coffee shop but earlier a pigeon was walking by my foot, then under my seat, then next to me... those little buggers...

as i wander around this area by the water, i was a bit concerned i looked funny or had something hanging off my face or something because people would smile at me and say hi. i mean, that doesn't happen in china... and that definitely doesn't happen in philly... but then i simply remembered that people in other cities in the states do smile and greet strangers. at least i think so...

it's good to be back in the states. i need to relearn how to cross streets though... but the fresh air.. the blue sky... the diversity... i love it.

working in krispy kreme shanghai

I took an extended lunch break, mainly because I couldn’t decide what to eat and then I couldn’t decide where to go after lunch and then finally couldn’t decide which coffee shop to sit in for the rest of the afternoon.

I wasn't really hungry...not really in the mood for anything in particular… causing me to wander. I had McDs yesteday for lunch, and Lisa was not too happy with me for that… and I agreed that was my last McDs in China before heading back to the states and I should eat something asian. So after walking up and down this outdoor mall like place, passing Papa Johns, McDs, Krispy Kreme, KFC, Korean food, Sbux, Pho, Beard Papa’s, and plenty of other delicious places, I went for a ramen place. Nice and light.

I was supposed to stop by my friend’s office for a quick fly by hi and bye, but I’m feeling lame and poopy and don't want to move... so after I finished eating, I continued to wander back and forth in this shopping area… and then I needed to decide where to spend my afternoon. My main requirements: wifi and cheap. I just don't feel like spending $3-5 US on a coffee right now because honestly I don’t really want coffee… I’ll spend a couple bucks but that’s it. I’m being cheap… I know. So as I continued to walk back and forth in this little outdoor mall, I finally decided on Krispy Kreme. Cheap and yummy... and, I don't have to get a coffee or tea that I don't want to drink. just a donut which of course i already happily devoured.

My mom just emailed an update... gramps is out of operating room and already in his own room. He had local anesthesia.. amputated higher than initially thought.. he sounds rather "normal and loud" (my mom could hear him over the phone...). continuing to pray but good news so far.

sitting on the 2nd floor of this krispy kreme...catching up on news... investigations in pakistn and b-laden stuff... working on my brand identity stuff.. I really want to nap... I want to lay on that orange couch that other ppl are sitting on... maybe i should have gotten a coffee after all.

meeting lisa later tonight to go to her cg and then pack up and prep for my long trek back to philly tomorrow...

coffee shop hopping

I’m sitting in a coffee shop right now, just like I do in the states, thinking and praying for my gramps who’s having surgery this morning to have his left leg amputated. This is going to be hard for him… my mom told me that when the final decision was made by the family a couple days ago, he was crying quite a bit about it. I saw him shed a few tears while I was there visiting a few weeks ago. I had to leave the room then cuz I was losing it too, so I can only imagine what it was like in that hospital room when this decision was made.

just got a note that gramps just went into surgery half an hour ago... surgery to last a good 3 hours... then 2 hours of monitoring...

My mind is filled with gunk right now… gramps, stuff from mtg, work stuff... and I feel kind of icky. My bronchial tubes feel like they're getting messy. I hope it goes away by the time I step on the plane tomorrow. I don’t want to be like one of them folk coughing up gunk everywhere. Sadly I don’t actually know how to cough up gunk even if I wanted to… I know, it’s ridiculous…

Need a change of scenery and bio break so gonna head out to grab a quick bite… then coffee shop hop to another joint.

how do you say "employee engagement" in chinese?

After being on hold forever with Continental airlines, I was able to change my flight… although now with a long layover and a $75 change fee. Mostly all my flights this trip were free from accumulated miles, but gosh those change fees are racking up!

I got a phone call this morning from the company I was hoping to meet.. and hence why I had to change my flight. I was a bit nervous all day, wondering how this meeting would go and whether it was going to be in Chinese or English… I mean, this all happened so quickly and so last minute and all. I was happy to arrive at the office to find a mix of friendly foreign and Chinese faces, and was thankful that English was the chosen language for the meeting. While I did spend a lot of time looking up and asking my friend how to say some of the things I’m trying to do in Chinese, things that my friend doesn’t think really exist in China… like employee motivation, employee engagement, etc. Despite spendin the day stressing about it, I was thankful in the end to have the meeting in my mother tongue so I could actually converse in a meaningful, understandable way. anyhow, i thought it was a good conversation... not sure where it will go from here... or how He's leading through this...

headed over to a cool cafe in shanghai to do some work and met lisa there... dinner at a delish yunnan place...

praying for my gramps who's having surgery tomorrow...

back to shanghai

Another early morning to trek from heze to Zhengzhou airport to fly back to shanghai. My parents don’t trust my ability to get to Zhengzhou and figure out how to transfer to the airport shuttle so my dad took the day off to go with me there. Sheesh. I guess it was good considering the airport shuttle tickets had sold out and I ended up in some private car with 3 other strangers. Quite the entertaining drive tho… I got in the car with these 3 strangers. The driver took us to some other area to be picked up by another car.. a larger one with another passenger in it already. Man that driver drove so fast I so wished I had my seatbelt on. So this black Honda suv/minivan mix… not sure what it was.. maybe an odyssey… had all sorts of horns and bells and whistles attached. No joke, this guy would sometimes beep his car horn, then sometimes use a buzzing noise that cops use, then a siren like an ambulance… and swerve in and out, in between tight places… it was nuts.

I’m a seatbelt advocate in all situations but when seatbelts aren’t available because drivers have them tucked away, there’s not much you can do. My dad is actually more strict than I am apparently. Sometimes if he needs to take a taxi somewhere, he’ll show up at work with a grayish black streak across his body… marks from a seatbelt collecting dust since it’s never been used before. I was in the car when a taxi driver told him… “oh you don’t need to wear that”, but my dad insisted that he did and did indeed pull that seatbelt on. My dad also pulls out English at random moments to Chinese people, not even realizing he’s speaking in English and the people have no idea what he’s saying… so American.

I’m now back in Shanghai. Trying to coordinate one more meeting tomorrow morning. I’m not really sure how that’s going to work out if it will at all… in fact it kind of stresses me out thinking about it, but I’m putting it into His hands… if it works out, it could only be His hand at work… if the door closes, that is fine too.

Also when I stepped into the Shanghai airport, it was like a breath of fresh air. When I stopped in the bathroom in the airport, oh man, it was so nice and clean… and regular toilets! I know that when I had written about coming from Taiwan to Shanghai and how unprepared I was by the smells, noises, and people of China… well, I guess I adjust easily to the circumstances around me… cuz now I was so happy to be back in the same city that I had commented negatively on just a couple weeks ago. It’s all relative I guess!

yuntai mountain day 2

We are tired… we had to wake up this morning at 3am to head to breakfast by 4, and be at the mountain by 6 so that we could avoid some of the crowds and then get back to Heze at a reasonable hour. The area we hit up today was much less crowded than yesterday. We did drive by the area we were at and the lines were already standstill… at 6 am! Could not believe it.

We had a good day of hiking, seeing the views, waterfalls, and the like. The thing with these asian tours is that they take you to the tourist sites that you signed up for, but then they also bring you to these shopping areas that sell you items locally made in that region. The bus and tour guides probably get some commission from the group going and buying things. One of the shops we visited was a kitchen knife store. They sat us down in a room and did a live infomercial on their knives. I guess that late night home shopping network tv channel does exist in China… live… brought to you in person.

After all that, we headed back on our 4 hour bus ride back to heze… then a slow but delicious dinner at some western style establishment that my parents frequent… then back to their apt to pack up for my journey to shanghai then home to the states.

don't travel on may 1 holiday

This morning we headed out to catch our tour bus to Yuntai Mountain. We decided at the last minute to check this place out but we soon realized after we arrived at the mountain that going over the May 1 holiday – the Chinese Labor Day – was not such a good idea. So many people…excruciatingly painful long lines… pushy people shoving their way through lines and onto buses… the spitting.. the trash thrown everywhere… the smells… not good.

Nonetheless, to say the mountain, the waterfalls, the pools of water were not beautiful would not be fair, but sometimes it’s hard to separate your general surroundings with the beauty in front of you. That said, I would love to go back there again when it is less crowded, although even that is hard to come by. So the estimate is that the number of people who visited that day because of the labor day holiday ranged from 70,000-100,000 people at a time. On a typical day… 50,000 would be the norm.

Despite being in line and moving an inch at a time at times, it was still a good hike, up and down stairs and all. It made me regret hitting up the spinning classes I took up the past couple days, although we all know I need all the exercise I can take at this point.

After a long day, we headed to our hotel. So, the tour operator we took is a local Chinese one, but supposedly one of the best ones in the area, something my parents find very important for safety and comfort reasons. I, on the other hand, do not prefer tour groups.. but deciding so late in the game to go gave us little choice as most hotels and trains were all sold it already. So after we get on the bus to head to dinner and the hotel, we’re told that all the hotels were sold out so we were staying a good couple hours away from yuntai mountain… that got my parents quite worried about the kind of hotel we’d be staying in. After dinner… btw I found some extra protein on a cauliflower stalk over dinner… a little caterpillar of some sort. With my dislike for bugs, I’m surprised I didn’t scream. Instead I kind of stared at it wondering if it was supposed to be part fo the dish, then came to my sense and wiped it off, and almost ate the cauliflower… then quickly changed my mind and placed on the tablemat. GROSS.. I think in America or a different part of China, I would have flipped, but I guess this was a bit more in context so I believe I handled it maturely. ☺

So we arrive at our hotel and my parents are not happy. I mean, it was not nice, but it was not horrible. I’ve been in worse… but it’s not quite my parents’ type of travel… i could see the disgust in their faces... my dad made a comment that made us laugh… “after being here, I don’t feel so bad about being in heze”. Heze is the town they live in right now. At the least, staying in this hotel in this town brought a bit more perspective to their situation.

baby buttcrack pants

I can’t help it, but I have an unhealthy obsession… well, it’s really just curiosity with these kaidangku – those open butt crack pants that Chinese babies are all dressed up in. Aren’t parents worried that they baby will pee or poo while the kid is sitting in their lap? I do see some younger babies wearing diapers under those kai dang ku, which I also don’t quite understand, but I suppose if that’s all they sell here in China, then it is what it is. It half disgusts me but also entertains me too... I know... I need help.



I keep thinking... give the child some dignity... exposing his or her bum everywhere. I guess I'm not helping the situation by posting some pictures up on the www.. but no faces are shown and I guess I'm assimilating to the norms here.