BC, AD... and now it's 2015

I know this is old news, literally, but i've just been chewing on how a whole calendar system recognized by the world for generation after generation could be based on the birth of Jesus... yet so many people in our world don't believe in Him. I know there's now BCE and CE... but i just find it interesting that the world's calendar system would be based on the birth of our Savior.

What's even cooler is that as I'm pondering this... so my Sundays, I often spend my night opening mail, cleaning up, getting ready for the weak while listening to a recorded message or something from churches that i've attended in the past... literally the day after this bc/ad thought pops in my mind, i decide i wanted to listen to a message from a church i attend in the Philippines... and to my pleasant surprise, they recently did a whole series called "BC".  Random?  No way man, only God.  I had not listened to a message from that church for months and would not have normally gone there.

Closing out 2014

Well, as I often say in my little blog here... I stink at keeping this updated, but nevertheless I continue to try. I write posts today as I reflect upon the past few months, sometimes even over a year ago, or I finish half drafted thoughts from over a year ago and post them a year later. Why? Because I want to remember... I want to reflect... I want to process... and for whatever reason, having this blog here gives me the space and the self-accountability to do it. I don't know... strange.  It helps that this also keeps it somewhat organized by date...

sometimes, i draft thoughts and reflections while they are fresh, but never get to posting them because I want to add photos or other additional thoughts... other times, weeks and months after the thought/situation/event, when I go to organize photos, I recall the thoughts and feelings at the time, and then jot it down.  better late than never... better than forgotten, although so much has already been forgotten.

I don't really know who else reads this. I'm kind of curious but at the same time I don't really care. This is more for me than for you (sorry!). I found out recently one of my closest friends did not even know I had this blog... and... uh.. not that i'm trying to hide anything... this is on the web after all... but it was kind of nice to know it's still kind of "private"... yet in the public realm... sort of... At the end of the day, this is an outlet for me to remember, reflect, think, process, whatever. Enjoy the journey if you'd like to... enjoy (or judge) the madness... my weird, convoluted thoughts...

so as i write this, i will be backposting things from 2013 and earlier in 2014 i'm sure...drafts are already in the folder but for now... i will continue moving forward into 2015.  But a closing word for 2014... thankful. I am thankful.  In this last week of the year, I've been able to catch up with old friends from my childhood.  Even though we see each other once a year or less, I can't help but be so thankful that God placed these individuals in my life to help mold and shape me.  Friends who knew me as a quiet and shy kid to a bratty pre-teen who thought she was too cool for school... spiritual leaders, mentors, teachers, peers in my life who shaped my character and modeled Christ's character in how they cared, loved, prayed, and invested in me.  Just thankful.

I'm also thankful that God is truly my "wonderful counselor".  I think Jesus is referred to as the wonderful counselor in Isaiah somewhere, but I know the "title" more from some song that I can't seem to remember at the moment (my memory is so bad...).  I never really thought about what that actual means... our "wonderful counselor"... it probably has much deeper meaning... but for me right now, He has and continues to be my awesome counselor who listens, who observes, who truly knows me... and who guides, coaches, and leads me through the messyness of life.  I don't know what i'd do if i didn't have God to pray, share, process with. Sure, I have close friends but sometimes, either because i'm in a foreign land and I have no one to process with... or simply because i'm so distraught that i don't want to talk or see anyone no matter how close they are to me... i just want to be alone and have a pity party or something... pout.. i don't know... Even in this past year, there have been moments feeling hopeless, heartbroken by the sights, the people trapped in horrible situations, the stories. Without God to cry out to, I just don't know how I could have continued forward.  He has always answered.. He has always spoken, even when I was so perplexed and honestly kind of mad at God, and couldn't even peep out a prayer other than the word "why". He has always been faithful, counseling me, helping me process. He's given me glimpses of His huge heart... He's grown my perspective for how He views people and this world... It can't be a coincidence that the words I need to hear are impressed through my ear or eyes and into my heart during those times of heart break or anger or frustration.  So... 2014... I'm thankful for my wonderful counselor, who understands, who is with me all the time, and indeed gives the best counsel all the time... in the good times, and the most challenging times.

Onto 2015.

Filipino street kids playing POGS?

As I jumped off the jeepney coming home from the office, I spotted a group of street kids sitting on the side of the road playing pogs.  Seriously, I’m not sure the last time I saw kids actually playing pogs, in a tournament style or anything... definitely not on the streets of Manila.  Actually, come to think of it, I don’t think I ever even saw kids playing POGs ever!  It never was popular where I grew up... that statement will be memorialized forever in my memory. My first time interviewed by the press, and forever scarred from then on for press interviews after being scolded for being a bit too honest as I shared that POGs were not popular where I lived... or something along those lines.

Anyways, when I was 11 or 12, I was selected with 11 others from across the US to be on the World POG Federation Kids Board of Directors.  They flew a parent with each of us into LA for board meetings and pure fun for a few days. They spoiled us rotten.  Sure we had meetings in board rooms, we reviewed books they were publishing, taste tested POG candy, discussed stuff I can no longer remember... but I do clearly remember how they spoiled us rotten. From the moment we checked into the fancy hotel with welcome baskets of pogs and things, to getting off a chartered bus and literally being physically showered/attacked by POGS as the WPF staff and leaders welcomed us to their offices, to a trip to Disneyland where we acted like entitled princes and princesses, thinking we were all so cool... all the while our parents who had to accompany us like well-paid babysitters watched us at night and observed everything else.  Perhaps one day I’ll rip out my personal POG – yes they made POGs of each of us.... ridiculous... I know. Actually there was a book published about us with our pogs in them, but I cannot find it anywhere!  I saw it randomly at a Bradlees or Caldor years ago, but a couple of our pogs were actually punched out so my parents thought we would be able to locate another copy elsewhere.  We either forgot, or just failed to find one... so bummed!

Anyways the memories stirred on by the sight of these kids... having fun playing pogs.  A foreign sight in a foreign place, a distant memory, but very intentional preparation. In all of high school and most of college, the thought of entering the business world one day was the last thing I would have done.  To think back to my childhood at the ways God has been preparing me for the work I do today and where He is leading... it’s like seeing the puzzle pieces come together.  Even before the POG thing, as a really young kid, I would gather my neighbors and we’d start clubs together – I had a police club and puppy club in my parents basement, a science lab, almost organized a soccer camp for neighborhood kids (what we would have taught them I don’t know since we were quite young still!) and at one point my friend and I who were a bit crazy about baseball even started our own baseball team “Metankee” – she loved the Yankees, I loved the Mets. We had our own fake “fantasy” team as we tracked stats on Prodigy, pre AOL days, and even made business cards for ourselves for our new baseball team.  Ridonkulous... but to see how God has wired me... albeit a super shy kid, but one that sought to create and build and organize, even as a child. Still learning as I go along... truly an adventure.  No coincidences, no random events or experiences... all move forward as if filling a toolbox full of widgets that can be used when and where and how God leads as He calls us into the work we do.

TSA in my business

Arrived safely in Manila.  Opened my suitcase to find TSA “notice of baggage inspection” slips inside – nothing new. My bag often gets searched – I guess I stuff it full of random crap that it looks suspicious... who knows.  As I unpack I find a very thorough search has happened.  Not only did they check my bag and throw the slip in, they went as far as opening my Ziploc baggie of chocolate spread, and wrapping the slip around the jar.  I opened the jar and it was unopened... but find it quite entertaining that they got all in my chocolate jar’s business.

On another note, I’m sharing a room with a volunteer who is serving here for the year.  On her wall she had this verse... one of my favorites.. always speaks to me whenever I read it.

Captain Bob

I suppose if you flew the Honolulu to Guam route, you really have no reason to not be joyful.  Well, meet Captain Bob (in the dark suit/cap), our gregarious pilot... we settle down into our seats.... he starts going around the cabin, saying hello, shaking our hands, introducing himself... and finally as he realizes he should probably get back into the cockpit says.. “oh, I should probably get back in that room (cockpit).  You know we don’t get to get out much. I mean, I’m stuck in that room with my copilot for the flight, then we get off the flight together, and check into the hotel together... it’s kind of weird.”  Thanks Captain Bob for helping us start this flight off in good spirits.

And to add to that... I got a free upgrade into business class... the highlight? They served ice cream sundaes!

   

Layover Adventures in Hawaii

breakfast feast

My hotel has free breakfast – well, I guess you can call it free but I had to pay a $23 resort fee upon check in which I think more than covers this continental breakfast.  Don’t get me wrong, it was good and unique, especially the donuts!  I had a nice time this morning feasting on God’s word and on food, overlooking the ocean from my room porch.

views from the volcano

Afterwards I hit the road... went for a long jog to the bottom of a volcano- Diamond Head, then hiked up to the crater’s summit.  I was worried I wouldn’t make it down in time but there was plenty of time!  I was so thankful for that time there.  It was raining pretty hard on my jog to the volcano. I almost turned around at one point.  In the volcano, it was actually sunny and beautiful.  It was a steep hike but well worth it. I needed the exercise for sure. I did look like a crazy woman I’m sure as I speedwalked/excused me my way around people hiking slowly up enjoying the journey...

After the hike, ran back to the hotel, and even had time to go take a quick dip in the ocean.  There were some small fish in there. Water was so clear. I confirmed that I really don’t love the ocean.  The idea of pretty fish is cool... so I chase after them like everyone else does, reach out my hand to touch them like others might... but then when they get to close, I start freaking out.  The idea of the ocean sounds nice but in reality.... not such a fan.

Anyways, a nice layover.  On to manila.

23 hour layover in honolulu

To be honest, it sounded cool but for some reason I kind of didn’t want to deal with it. It meant finding a place to stay, figuring out what to do, and leaving home earlier than I would like to... but, it was the best choice for multiple reasons, so I went with it.  As I thought why I was not as excited about it, it kind of perplexed me. It’s Hawaii for pete’s sake.  I would have to say a family vaca to Hawaii as a kid was definitely one of the best trips.  We had done plenty of beaches and vacation spots, but Hawaii was just the best.  But going solo... I dunno... it just didn’t sound that appealing.  I guess I prefer the mountains... if it was 24 hours in Utah or Colorado in the winter, I would have paid extra to make that happen!

Nevertheless, the flight was booked... used some points to book a hotel. Spoiled myself a bit and stayed pretty comfortably near Waikiki beach.  Once I arrived, I got right to work.  Grabbed a shuttle to the hotel, texted my friend who grew up in Honolulu for tips on things to do, she started texting me place after place – all food. I hit the streets finding the food joints she suggested. Yum.  Rainbow’s drive-in, then zippy’s, failed to find the shaved ice place, went back to rainbow’s for the slush float, wandered back towards the hotel and into the downtown’ish type of area to the apple store to pick something up, then back to the hotel. Thought I was going to pass out towards the end of my wandering. A lot of walking... not enough sleep... tired.

Hawaii reminds me of POGs.  If you don’t know what POGs are – well, they’re out of business now but it’s a game where you throw an object to flip a stack of milk caps over, originating in Hawaii actually – the Haleakala dairy farm.  POG also stands for Passion, Orange, and Guava mixed together to make POG juice, also a more Hawaiian flavor (I found some at the Honolulu airport and drank some!).  It also reminds me of Hawaii because my family went on a family vacation to Hawaii right before my first ever business trip.  Like this time, Hawaii was an added bonus to a comp’d trip.  I’ll explain more some other time.

Made for this

A few days into my time in Bangladesh, I distinctly remember standing in my room and saying to myself “I think this is it. I think this is what all that training and education and experiences was for. This work is what I’m called to do... at least for right now.”  This work in helping organizations grow, help them improve, help their people develop, help teams work effectively... this work that God has not only been preparing me for since childhood, but has actually given me a passion for.  What’s funny is, that’s what EdGE, the consulting business I created a few years ago was about as well, helping organizations grow and work well to impact the world. Despite having no time to drive that forward, I am more or less doing the work of EdGE but now through endpoverty and the partners we work with.  EdGE. I spent so much time praying through what EdGE is, what it's brand is, what it's all about. EdGE - "Equipped. Go Empower."  Equipping organization, equipping people, equipping groups, equipping... so that they are in turn empowered to lead, to run, to work, help others, to equip others, to transform lives.

i like post-it notes.

During the trip, I kept pondering how I am able to understand and diagnose the health of organizations I step into rather quickly, why I am able to build deep relationships with people almost immediately, why I can assimilate and understand different cultures almost immediately. It’s just bizarre in my mind that this stuff just clicks in my mind.  As I explain issues I see to the leaders, and find ways to push them beyond the confusion to reach their ‘aha’ moment, I am truly in awe of God who enables me to think, communicate, and share.  And to think of the different, seemingly random projects and training and development programs God has given to me over the years that have prepared me so well... it’s like the A-Team slogan “I love it when a plan comes together”.  God’s plan is so good. Be faithful even when you’ve got your doubts. I can find old blog posts when I complained about work, thought about quitting and completely switching gears, but for whatever reason I felt God was asking me to stay... so I reluctantly did.  Now, I am pulling concepts from years ago.

I reflected back at my childhood.  School was never my thing.  Concepts did not click quickly... my dad was visiting my teachers regularly to discuss my grades... they dragged me to tutoring, extra academic programs, summer schools... sure you could say it’s an Asian thing but my brother never had to do any of that. The difference?  His grades were stellar. Mine, just average or perhaps failing in the eyes of Asian parents. I think I just had a listening problem... or an attention problem... I mean to this day, my mind wanders all the time so I’ve learned to focus over the years (still working on it)... but it was never by any means easy.  So why this stuff sticks and makes sense to me, quite frankly, perplexes me!  Nonetheless I am thankful.