faith like a ouiji board

As I drove around yesterday, half praying and asking God for some direction on some things... I started to wondering how shallow my faith sometimes is...  and how sometimes I’m not sure if I’m truly hearing God or if I’ve convinced myself to think that God is saying basically what I want to hear.  Who am I deceiving but myself... and then I started to think back to my childhood days...  playing with the ouiji board at friends houses... it was seemingly so cool and freaky all at the same time.  I remember thinking it was devil worship and maybe it is... but I still played it... but I just started thinking...  with the ouiji board, we kind of ‘will’ it to move to where we kind of want it to move.. collectively... and sometimes with our walk with God, am I simply ‘willing’ for something to be a certain way and just calling it God’s way for me?

It’s scary to think that but I know I’ve definitely been guilty of that at times... God is that your calling?  Or have I just convinced myself that that is what you are saying even when you clearly may not be?  Especially when God is silent I’m sure I start crafting His plans... wow... God forgive me and help me to be drawn so close to you that your thoguhts indeed fill my mind that I might never doubt your ways... that your ways are my ways... and no other way... that my desires would be your desires alone.