Lent

So I've never really formally participated in a season of Lent, but I was really encouraged and inspired by some of my bros and sistas who do keep Lent. And then at prayer mtg last night we were reading and discussing an article by Craig Higgins that was handed out at Church and this statement in particular really resonated with me... "realizing that repentance should characterize the totality of the Christian life, we should see the practical wisdom in setting aside time especially for this purpose. Just as a baseball player may work at staying in shape year round but still give special attention to conditioning before the start of spring training, so we may find great spiritual benefits in setting aside a few weeks to give special attention to the state of our souls."

And so... as I thought about the state of my heart, even just the past couple of weeks... all I can say is that it's been quite messy! Bouts of anger, sudden onset of teary eyes, bitterness, sadness, stressed-out, woe-is-me'isms. And as I unpeeled the source of that anger and stress, idols are popping up that were buried before because I never had to confront them personally. My lack of faith.. a lack of trust in Him who is my provider of ALL things is evident... I hold onto what I have as if I received those solely because of my hard work. I "know" these are all blessings from above, yet clearly, I must not truly "know" what that means, because my emotional reactions that simmer and boil my blood upon those things being taken away, rightfully or wrongfully, are a clear indication of the true state of my heart.

So it is with these things on my heart that I scribbled a bunch of things into my journal.. some random thoughts are here: "God everything I have is yours. Give beyond where it hurts. Compassion, forgiveness, hope. I surrender. Give when it hurts, give when it's hard, love when they are seemingly unloveable, acts of kindness. Bold faith. Trust Him. Follow His lead. Show and give compassion." And so for Lent, I'm not giving up a food or a simple pleasure, but rather, I'm attempting exactly what I scribbled... to give beyond where it hurts, remembering that everything I have is from Him, to show compassion... but to be deliberate and intentional, to seek God's direction for the recipient of the compassion, to walk the world with eyes like Jesus, to grow my heart of compassion like He had, to prioritize His people over my to-do list and my calendar... to do this every day, with much prayer, following His lead... so, here we go.