Happy Birthday Goldie!

Happy Birthday Goldie! I hope Yeye found you in heaven and is celebrating with you!!! Love ya and miss ya! I'm glad you have a familiar face from the family up there with you!
...not proud of the glasses... or my brother's flannel shirt that i'm sporting...

So it's been a few weeks since my gramps passing and I'm finally starting to face the world head-on. It feels good to embrace the world (outside of family) and not avoid people and dealing with life... really nice to get caught up with friends.


This weekend, my mom and I went up with my cousin Efren to see his sister Fay (my cousin)'s art exhibition opening reception up at Real Art Ways in Hartford, CT. Had an excellent time with Efren, Fay and Fay's BF and family, my mom - nice mother's day.
my favorite pic... better in person. www.fayku.com
Her art was also in this week's NY Times magazine! http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/13/magazine/13funny-humor-t.html

Mother's Day lunch in Hartford - The Rajun Cajun - unlimited Southern food...yummy...


Mother's Day - stroll from Elizabeth Park, Hartford - Tulip Garden

Tribute to "Yeye" (Gramps)

I've been spending a lot of time with family lately. My cousin made me sign up for facebook... so i reluctantly did... and the next thing I know... I'm connected to the whole world - people I haven't talked to in forever. Fun... I think it's been my coping strategy - kinda drained lately and well, facebook is easy... don't actually have to talk to anyone... just find people, poke them, write on their wall... painless.

So I know every time I write in my xanga, it's always sad or something... and I know I've promised that I would write about the happy times, but I guess life gets to you and it's just hard. I mean, I write in this because I want to keep these memories forever... not to depress the world. I do want to remember the happy times. No promises but I'll try to write more. Anyhow, my gramps passed away a week ago and I wanted to share about him because he was truly an awesome man who meant a lot to me. I had the privilege of sharing at his service. I have a lot more to share - the weeks before his death and all that I want to capture as memories forever, so maybe that will be my next posting. Anyways, thankfully He was a believer and I am confident he is with God now and I can't wait to see him again one day. First portion below is his bio, and then some stuff I shared about him. Please continue to pray for my grandma.

Tai-Yung Wang
May 15, 1910 - April 20, 2007

Brother Tai-Yung Wang was born on May 15, 1910 in the Li Ling district of the Hunan province in China. He was the ninth of ten children in his family. During World War II, he decided to fight for his country and joined the Chinese AirForce Academy at Hangzhou, Jian Qiao. He quickly moved to the top of his class and out of thousands, was among the few selected to participate in a special training program in America and became a B24 Liberator bomber pilot. Upon returning to China, he fought in the Second Sino-Japanese War, risking his life for his country. He successfully completed many missions, the most famous of which was the sinking of the Japanese flagship at the Battle of Huangpu River. For that, the country honored him as an “Air Force Hero”.

After the war, he married his beloved Ho Sun-Sen in Shanghai in 1946 and had four sons: Xiang (Bosco), Tseng (James), Chih (Franco), Rei (Ray). They each wed, adding four daughter in-laws to the family: Mann-Rong, Hsiu-Chen, Chaun Feng, Jia Hua, and then nine grandchildren: Burkon, Tammy, Burchung, Burton, Po-Yu, Po-Wei, Po-Yah, Po-Kai, Po-Shuan – a total of nineteen members in this loving family.

Brother Tai-Yung was a humble man. He was a man of principle and self-discipline – always doing what was right and never compromising his morals. He was a loyal and responsible person, a good husband, a good father, a good grandfather and a great role model to all. Even though times were hard, he gave his all to his family and provided the resources and support to achieve them no matter the sacrifice.

In 1984, Brother Tai-Yung came to America. He attended an evangelical church retreat and became a Christian. He testified: “Before I knew Christ, I always thought everything was based on pure luck. After I believed and was saved, I learned that God is in control and everything is in His hands.”

Brother Tai-Yung attended the Bergen Christian Testimony Church and joined the Rockland County Bible Study Group and was a member of the Church’s Senior Citizen Fellowship. He loved to worship, praise, and adore God.

On Friday, April 20, 2007 at Good Samaritan Hospital in New York, surrounded by his wife, his sons, daughter-in-laws, and his grandchildren, Brother Tai-Yung peacefully went Home to be with the Lord at the age of 97.

My Testimony About My Gramps

On behalf of our grandfather’s nine grandchildren, I’d like to thank you all for joining us today in celebrating the life of our grandpa – our Yeye. We each have many memories of our Yeye. He was a loving, caring, determined, hard-working, happy, funny, and fun grandfather. He was always smiling and laughing – and saying the silliest things and making us laugh even though I don’t think he was actually trying to be funny.

Yeye was surely a hard worker. I remember him working hard at learning English. He never quite perfected it, but he was never afraid to practice it, using his key phrases whether it was with his grandkids or just random strangers – like the waitress at Applebees: “How are you? You like me? I like you.”

He loved us all so dearly and cared for us. He would always ask about school, remind us to study and work hard, and as I got older, the question turned to relationships – ni you “peng you” ma? - do you have a friend? Nainai tells me that Yeye was seriously concerned about my future husband and family. Yeye promised that he would find me a boyfriend at the local Shoprite grocery store – and I believe he was serious.

Yeye was just a funny, loving, joyful person to be around. We truly have been so blessed to know him and have him as our grandpa.

Personally, Yeye and I – we’ve always had a special bond. I’m not sure if it’s because I was the first girl in 2 generations – a special girl and granddad relationship; or maybe it was because I would unashamedly soak up any type of spoiling that was available with an innocent and cute smile and ask for more.

From as early as I can remember, Yeye was in my life – he’s really been there for most of my 25 years. Before I started school, he was my babysitter – my playmate. We used to hang out, watch “The Price is Right” with Bob Barker at 11AM, play doctor – okay, I played doctor and he was always the poor patient that I would inject with my Fisher Price plastic syringe, he would even cook lunch – I loved his cooking – shen li mian – ramen noodles… at that age, I had no idea it was so easy to make – I was impressed! And then of course, we would exercise together. We used to have this indoor exercise bike. Everyday we would ride that bike, and Yeye would encourage me on and say “jia you, jia you” – literally, to fill up your gas tank – “jia you, jia you”, don’t give up, and my short legs would pedal harder, faster and faster.

As I think back on those years, I realize what an impact Yeye had on my life. He instilled that determination, a never give-up mentality into my heart at a very young age when we rode that bike and he pushed me on with “jia you, jia you”. Yeye is a fighter – even the last few days of his life, Yeye pushed on to stay alive, waiting for his family to be at his bedside to send him Home. It was a final testament of his determination.

I’m so thankful that God created Yeye, and the wonderful family he blessed him and my Nainai with. I’m so thankful for God’s love, his ultimate sacrifice – for giving up his innocent and precious son to be nailed to a cross and suffer for me so that I could be forgiven and one day go Home to heaven. I’m so thankful that Yeye came to know Jesus and our heavenly father while he lived down here on earth. I am sad that I can’t call my Yeye over the phone or visit him at his apartment, but I am also joyous because I know, without a doubt, that Yeye is up there hanging out in heaven. His body is strong, his memory is clear, and he is hanging out with our heavenly father, watching over us; and one day, I’ll be there with him. He’ll greet me with a “how are you. I like you”, and we’ll ride that exercise bike together and cheer each other on with “jia you, jia you”. We’ll eat his favorite Pizza Hut pizza and Pepsi “tang”, and joke and play… like good old times.

Thanks God for giving us such an awesome grandpa, and thanks Yeye for living a beautiful life on earth. We love you. Give Goldie a big hug and kiss for me.

Remembering Goldie

Today was my best friend and 4-legged sister's birthday... she passed away a few years ago (wow, can't believe it's been over 5 years - seems like just yesterday!). Anyhow, happy birthday Goldie! I love you! I'll have to post some pictures of her when I get a chance. I wanted you all to meet my baby... my dad wrote this 'eulogy' following her passing... it's kind of sad, but it tells you a little about her.

To those who know Goldie: December 2000

Goldie, who was a greyhound and the only 4-leg member of our family, left us on 11/15/2000 at the age of 15. Burkon and Tammy were informed of a week later when they came home for Thanksgiving.

Goldie acted perfectly normal a night before (11/14/2000). She had a good appetite and completed her meal quickly that night. She went to the back yard for her routine business around 11:30 PM and then stayed in kitchen with Helen who was reading newspaper passing mid-night.

That night (actually early morning of 11/15/2000), Goldie passed away very peacefully while sleeping on her pillow next to the dinner table in kitchen. No sign of struggle during her last moment. In fact, Helen noticed nothing unusual in the morning and left for work quietly in attempt of not disturbing Goldie's sleep. I came down around 7:30 AM and observed Goldie showing no sign of chest movement which I had been watching closely for the past few months. I was stunned and my mind went totally blind. I shook her without response and repositioned the pillow under her head for comfort (Goldie's body was too long and most time her head and tail stretched outside of the pillow). Her body was still warm (maybe it was a shining morning and house heater was high) but a bit stiff. I moved her body into a huge transparent plastic bag and carried to the garage where the temperature was much cooler. I did not know what to do at that moment and, therefore, went to office to get my mind straight. After few phone calls with the veterinarians and animal hospitals, I went home with a dozen of yellow flowers. I carried Goldie into the van (reminding me of carrying her to upstairs for her last shower a week earlier) and drove to the Plansboro-West Windsor Animal Hospital (Goldie loved to ride in this van). A hospital technician helped me to lay Goldie on a cold metal operation table and left us alone for the final moment. I put the flowers and a big name tag in the bag to avoid any possible mix-up. I hugged Goldie gently and told her that we would miss her very much. I thanked her for being a loyal guardian angel for our children for many years and told her to enjoy herself in Heaven with no more worry since kids are now the grown-ups. I also told her that she would be cremated privately (Goldie was always nervous when with other 4-leg friends) and her ash would be returned home to be buried under her favor evergreen where she always sat or laid in the summer.

Before coming to our home 11 years ago, Goldie was an outstanding champion dog and won many trophies during her racing career. I was told that her best record was about 40 miles per hour. We rescued her from a racetrack in Boston after her retirement at which time more than 90% greyhounds were put to sleep at age of 3 or younger. She weighted 65 pounds, stood at an approximate 25 inches in height and 30 inches in length, and had a short coat of brindle (striped as tiger) color (see attached). Despite her big size, she was a gentle and affectionate companion. Goldie faithfully accompanied our two children through the elementary and high school years. She missed them terribly when they left home for college, particularly when Tammy started college last year. Maybe Goldie thought that she was on longer able to watch over the kids on earth and decided to continue looking after them from the Heaven. Recently, Helen and I were discussing how to accommodate Goldie due to our upcoming overseas trip. We considered to board Goldie in a kennel or the greyhound adoption center although she definitely would not like it (Goldie had never been in such facilities). She might overhear our conversation and decided to leave on her own without adding burden upon us. She was so thoughtful and left us with guilty feelings.

We believe that Goldie had a good life in our home and certainly enjoyed her retirement here. She was a significant part of our family. She had the best personality among all family members including myself because she always listened and never complained. She liked Chinese food, enjoyed car ride, listened to karaoke singing, and loved being with children. Although we miss her deeply, we are happy for her being in Heaven now. We will remember Goldie forever.

purpose-driven life...

please lift up a prayer for mr. and mrs. yang and heidi (sister) as they go through this difficult time of loss, that God would bring them comfort and healing, and that God would be their strength through this sadness. henry went up to be with the lord after a car accident on sunday. mr. yang is still in the icu and not really sure if he knows that henry has left us. also pray for all that were touched by henry's life on earth - that they would be comforted by the Lord and would continue to trust Him despite the pain and confusion.

praying for our little henry (i guess not so little - 14, though I still seem him as a 7 year old) and his family... seems like just yesterday when i met this roudy and mischievous one - probably was like 3 or 4 at the time or something. i'm so thankful that he has grown to know and love the Lord over the years and dedicated his life to Him. i know it's really difficult right now, but i pray that his brief life on earth continues to be a testimony to those who knew him. we might not understand God's plans right now, but keep your trust in Him, and know that He is God and that Henry is up there, partying with our heavenly Father, where one day we too will join them up there in celebration. Look forward to it, and know that henry is in a better, a happier place.

if any of you pcc'ers need anything or someone to talk to, drop me a comment, an email or call me any time of day, okay? i'm praying for you....

a sad wake up call to what's really important in life. life really is so fragile and so short. i need to stop worrying about the trivial things on earth and focus all of my efforts on working for his glory and his glory alone. if i'm not sharing the good news, then what am i doing wasting god's precious time. i just watched the movie "pay it forward". watching that, accompanied by this sad news, really makes you realize that God does have a purpose for each and every one of us on earth, and that He is in control of our time here on earth. we may not get it now, but we will one day. working for His glory...

Are we adults?

Wow.. it's been awhile... been busy. unfortunately i'll have to keep it short. i'll write more later... promise.. hopefully by the end of the week - that's the goal.

anyways, i was watching grey's anatomy last week and got a kick out of something meredith grey said... kind of how i feel sometimes...

"We're adults. When did that happen?!?
And how do we make it stop?"

"Responsibility, it really does suck."

grandmom and grandpop

my grandparents just left... well, they're at the airport getting ready to go.. back to taiwan... possibly for good. i just spoke with both of them and i have to admit, i'm quite sad about it. i don't like to think about it, but it did cross my mind that today could have been the last time... anyways, prolly and hopefully not ...

they've been in the US, watching the family grow up forever... i don't know when exactly, but they've been living here since i was a baby. The only babysitter I ever had, that I can remember at least, was my grandpa. He walked my bro and I to school everyday when we lived in NY, made ramen noodles for lunch when I came home from 1/2 day kindergarten.... we used to ride the exercise bike together - i'm not sure how we managed to do that together - but anyways.. now that I think about it, that just might be where the inner drive and determination (for certain things at least) in me began to develop. he used to always say "jia you," which literally translates to "add oil" to keep us working hard and keeping the pedals moving...

i always had a special relationship with them, especially my grandpa... now with alzheimers, i'm still the only person, outside of grandma, that he has a clear recollection of. gramps and gramm had 4 boys, who decided to keep the family tradition up by having more boys.. then i was born and the world became a better place - just kidding. there is now another girl who came later, but she's in taiwan. so naturally, i was the spoiled one that emerged in the family.. the little princess who is and forever will be grandpa's little girl. if there's a problem - which more often then not there is, at least in gramps mind - if I were asked to be the mediator, gramps would listen to me and everything would be alright...(it may sound cool, but it's tough work... especially recently with alzheimers added unto his stubbornness... my poor grandma... all i can say is patience and love).

my grandma's also quite the woman... she is, what can i say.. the typical grandma... loving, always preps good food for us... i don't know how she does everything... she's been so depressed lately. i've had conversations with her sobbing and stressed with gramps attitude and going back to taiwan... crazy stuff...

so basically, the main reason they're heading to taiwan is for my grandma to have a knee replacement, but while they are there, they will be checking out some "facilities." grandpa's expecting to come back here, as this is where he calls home; but i think grandma realizes that that might not happen... she kind of feels like she's getting booted away from us. anyways... complicated stories... issues... of course i'd like them to come back here, but i think taiwan will be good for them. hopefully my grandma will be able to have more of her own life there, instead of constantly being a slave to grandpa... i guess we'll see what happens.

so i'm realizing that i mostly only write in my xanga when i'm sad or stressed about something... and i will work on providing some more postiive updates on what's been going on in my life. but for some reason, writing here, for example right now.... has made me feel better. kind of soothing and relieving to get all the tears into words.

promise.. the next entry i provide will be positive.. when i'm not sad.... cuz things have been busy, but relatively good. till next time....

homesick?

at what age does homesickness become inappropriate? most people grow out of it like when.. 10.. max 18 when you hit freshman year? yeah... i guess i just have major issues.

so after a stressful last week in philly.. closing up projects.. or attempting to close up.. cleaning up my mess... i somehow packed up all of my stuff at home, and "penske"'ed it up with mom and dad to connecticut this weekend. freakin tiring carrying all them boxes and couches and mattresses... i have to say it was pretty lonely after my parents left. it's not like in college where you have roomates or where there are plenty of people all around you.. after helping me unpack a bit and assembling some furniture, they left,and there i was... no internet (still no internet.. i've been forcing panera down my throat every dinner cuz they have free wifi.. sad existence..:) )... 1 tv channel... lots of boxes... and an apartment.

yesterday, day 1, was pretty good... uneventful.. to no surprise, i had no computer or phone... i think i just have bad luck cuz that happened last year too.. today was a little rough. i don't know.. i really miss the people i was working with.. the assignments... the respect.. knowing what's going on and all... it's hard to start over again.. it's also really hard because there are 3 other pdp's in my group (most departments have 1 max). it's nice having peers around you, however, there's this underlying silent competitiveness.. which am not very comfortable being a part of. i love competition, but i don't like this style/method of competition.. whatever you want to call is.. starting over is rough... getting to know people isn't easy... working with peers a the same level is tough.. i feel like we're working on our pdp group projects again.

anyways, on a more positive note... frank's wedding was awesome.. lots of fun and fellowship. can't believe the boy's married.. craziness....

Completing Year 1 as an "Adult"

exactly one more week at my current position.. i'm going to miss the people i work with... oh well... hartford will be a new and hopefully exciting place to start over... start fresh.

last night i swung by the opening reception/dinner for the incoming class of pdp's. i can't believe it's been a year.. exactly one year tomorrow (8/4).. that i've been in the real adult working world. stinks.. getting old...

so my brother's girlfriend... oh.. i mean FIANCE! stayed over this weekend. they both start b-school tomorrow at Wharton. i leave philly and they hit philly.. we always seem to miss each other. anyways, i think... yeah, i'm not really on top of things... they got engaged sometime while she was working in hk and my bro was in shanghai.. i'm not really sure. anyways, i think i'm in denial. but anyhow, this weekend at church, the pastor walked by and said hello to me, so i intro'ed my bro.. and he intro'ed her as his fiance... then he intro'ed her the same way to tony.. very odd... i guess i'll get used to it. she's cool. it's kind of fun because now i have a partner in crime to gang up against him... i may always lose the arguments, but she always wins.. good person to be on side with. :)

so i'm not 100% sure i'll be able to ski this winter.. but i got this thing in the mail today.. the "all for one ski pass." basically it's a season pass to killington, mount snow, sugarloaf, sunday river, pico, and attitash.. starting at $349. that's not a bad deal considering lift tickets nowadays cost like 60 bucks a pop or so... i think the 349 one has some blackout dates.. mainly the holidays, but you can use the pass on weekends.. anyone interested? we need to purchase by 8/30. let me know.. boarding's less straining on the knee right?... so long as the falling is controlled.. hehe..

teaching...coaching...business???

it feels so good to be done with this group project.. we were offsite for our 3rd development session.. spent days and nights preparing for our final presentation to company executives... and now... all i can say is.. what a relief! so glad to be done. our presentation went pretty well.. pretty pleased with my opening piece too. got to utilize some of the skills learned in that public speaking course i took at columbia...

i hate events like these because it always motivates me and excites me about my job and the program i'm in. just last week i was so set on teaching, coaching.. working with kids.. and now.. back to my state of confusion... gotta get tight with big papa for some clarification. amazing how easily swayed i am...

so after my long week, i came home from work on friday and drove to new brunswick for the last day of victory soccer camp's inner city camp. great fun! the kids were awesome. i even played... very gingerly in an informal 4 v 4 match... but did play nonetheless with the kids and coaches. it felt so great to be jogging around.. tapping the ball around... best part though was the playing w/ kids part.

oh.. and after the kids were gone and all.. i was offered a hs coaching job. man.. i was like.. uh... wow.. umm... what the heck do i do now!!!

well, i have committed myself to hartford for the year.. learn and grow a bit there.. and then we'll see from there where God wants me to be... teaching.. coaching... back to business.. we'll see.. but as for now, hartford here i come.. the director who offered the job did say the permanent coaching position would probably still be open for another year... we'll see what happens.

time for bed.. night.

bum knee and a bum real world...

i really enjoy working with kids and coaching... so meaningful.

anyways, so this retarded knee of mine is... well.. retarded. i've been warned several times by pt people and doc that i cannot play yet cuz i could blow it out again.. losing other structures... well, . how much longer does "yet" mean? i get frustrated at the medical world for not letting me play and for not giving me a specific timeframe for when i could be back playing, but then at the same time, i understand that this is a wait and see, time will only tell, injury... time will only tell if i can compensate for the lost with other structures.. but the impatient side of me sees that time as lost time. if in the end i'll have to get surgery, then i'd rather just get the surgery now, and then begin the 8-9 month recovery instead of waiting another month (already been out for 3 months!), finding out i need it, and then making this dumb injury and recovery into a more than year long deal...

but of course, if i don't need the surgery, then that would be best of course... 9 months vs. 4-5 months... plus, i really would like to take advantage of the soccer and coaches in hartford area while i'm there for the year... if surgery, then no soccer, no frequent skiing/boarding trips... basically hartford would suck.

brother's a pain too... seems like my parents and bro want me to look more into this surgery option... they don't think i've done my research or asked around enough? i hate people trying to run my life. he accused me of being too proud for not telling my family the truth about my injury. yeah it's true that when they ask, "does it hurt," i always respond with a "no." but it sure isn't due to pride. i hate telling my family about my booboos cuz they always make a big deal about it. i can't stand the nagging and the "does it hurt?", "are you okay?", "stop playing soccer". i never could stand that.. since i was a kid, i never complained about that kind of stuff to them... never cuz i was too proud to admit that i was hurting...

whatever...

finally handed in our paper for our group project at work... a whopping 81 pages.. lots of late nights, sorry.. endless nights.. but all done now. we have our 3rd development session next week, ending with our presentation of the project to the top execs of the organization. can't wait for this thing to be over... i've had enough of this.. actually, i've had enough of work in general. this real world thing is really not cool...

college with even less sleep

wow.. now i'm really feeling like i'm in college... only worse.. cuz i have to wake up at the crack of dawn.. or rather.. in not even a couple hours. well, i did have a nice weekend chilling with some aweseom people i studied abroad with... but guess now i'm suffering the consequences... work.. weekend of no sleep.. and now, even less sleep...

guess i'll just load up on the caffeine...

just like college... waiting till the last minute.

i feel like i'm in college again.. we have these dumb annoying group projects.. just finished working on our white paper, for now at least.. weird, deja vu of workgin on that seminar paper...

night.

blue collars and white collars

so my normal 1:15 drive to philly took 3.5 hours today... it took about 2.5 hours to inch along less than 5 miles...

oh, so I was asked to mentor an intern who was part of program called WorkReady... gives hs/college kids an opp to explore future careers. pretty funny that i had an intern and was asked to mentor him since i myself could use some mentoring. so my manager and i were scrounging around, pleading.. yes, literally pleading co-workers for simple busywork to give this guy... (i got my first lesson on pleading...live from my manager herself).

so anyways, he doesn't show up on Monday and we're all wondering where this kid is.. then I find out that he's not going to be able to work with us because he's juggling two other jobs.. pretty crazy. i spent some time getting to know the kid and realized just how spoiled i am. i asked what he wanted to get out of the internship and his response was: "well, this is a white collar building right?" and i sat there and seriously had to think about this question... i knew what he meant, but never thought in those terms, and did not know how to respond. gives you a much different perspective on society... and on youreslf... although i think the real reason why he quit is that we bored him by what we do... oops. anyhow, so he only worked for me for 4 hours, and then that was it! well, i seem to have failed at this mentoring thing... such a failure... hope it doesn't go on my permanent record... i must say, it is a relief to both my manager and i to not have to worry about finding/pleading people for things this kid could do.... don't get me wrong.. i think this is a great program, but it's just bad timing.. my manager and i were given 2 days notice... things are crazy for me, and having someone else to worry about is just too much to think about.

help me hear you

it's so frustrating.. i've demonstrated that i'm quite capable everywhere except for in my own family. no one in my fam trusts me with the decisions i have to make for my own life. mom, dad, bro.. they're always right.. me.. in their eyes, i'm always wrong. i want to grow up, but i can't because my life is run by my family. yeah, in the end it's my decision, but i do respect them. why should i feel bad for selecting my own path.. or in this situation, just an apt?? why do i almost always fall back on what they insist upon?? i'm sick and tired of having these losing arguments...

worked at victory soccer camp on monday and tuesday... it's so awesome to coach kids in a sport that God has really blessed me with... despite the bum leg and all... and have the freedom and the encouragement to share the gospel with these kids... what an awesome privelige and opportunity... that's what it's all about... loving and sharing the good news... really made me want to fast forward this potential career switch.... teaching perhaps...

took a quick trip to hartford to visit my future office and colleagues, then checked out a couple of apts.. the job sounds pretty cool... my direct manager is the chief strategy officer so that's pretty cool. pretty nice guy... should be a busy year...

anyways, i'm tired and a bit frustrated... so... i'm going to go out and kick a ball around despite the messed up knee. i'm tired of sitting around.. so i'm choosing sanity over pain. thanks.. and please don't tell me i should be careful with the knee because quite frankly... i'm kind of tired of everyone telling what i should do with my life.. too much outside noise distracting the one and only voice that I must hear and obey.. my big daddy upstairs...

PCC Retreat

This weekend was GREAT!! God is soo good... I really needed to be in God's house and family... though i'm no clearer on where God wants me to be, I'm a lot more at peace, knowing that He will open and close the doors for me in His time. my prayer is that I will be a living sacrifice for God, making the most of the opportunities He places me in... even if it's seemingly no fun and painful..aka.. sitting behind a desk.. He never said it'd be easy... I pray for patience in dealing with individuals, perseverance to keep close to His word, and a heart to pour His love out of...

I really need God's perseverance to make it through this summer glorifying God in all that I do, especially at work. just one day at work after coming back from retreat, I already feel spiritually weakened. I feel like I have seniorities again... having an offer for my next rotation, plus the fact that it's summer (and summer in my heart and mind is still fun and games) just sets the correct mood and environment.

^"But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry. For I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time has come for my departure. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 2 Timothy 4:5-7. I want to be able to tell God one day that I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

So at physical therapy today, after being laughed at for having a "peg leg," I got my first walking lesson since... let's see.. since I was 1?? boy, did I feel silly... well, hopefully i'll be walking normal in no time.. maybe even better than i did before!