bum knee and a bum real world...

i really enjoy working with kids and coaching... so meaningful.

anyways, so this retarded knee of mine is... well.. retarded. i've been warned several times by pt people and doc that i cannot play yet cuz i could blow it out again.. losing other structures... well, . how much longer does "yet" mean? i get frustrated at the medical world for not letting me play and for not giving me a specific timeframe for when i could be back playing, but then at the same time, i understand that this is a wait and see, time will only tell, injury... time will only tell if i can compensate for the lost with other structures.. but the impatient side of me sees that time as lost time. if in the end i'll have to get surgery, then i'd rather just get the surgery now, and then begin the 8-9 month recovery instead of waiting another month (already been out for 3 months!), finding out i need it, and then making this dumb injury and recovery into a more than year long deal...

but of course, if i don't need the surgery, then that would be best of course... 9 months vs. 4-5 months... plus, i really would like to take advantage of the soccer and coaches in hartford area while i'm there for the year... if surgery, then no soccer, no frequent skiing/boarding trips... basically hartford would suck.

brother's a pain too... seems like my parents and bro want me to look more into this surgery option... they don't think i've done my research or asked around enough? i hate people trying to run my life. he accused me of being too proud for not telling my family the truth about my injury. yeah it's true that when they ask, "does it hurt," i always respond with a "no." but it sure isn't due to pride. i hate telling my family about my booboos cuz they always make a big deal about it. i can't stand the nagging and the "does it hurt?", "are you okay?", "stop playing soccer". i never could stand that.. since i was a kid, i never complained about that kind of stuff to them... never cuz i was too proud to admit that i was hurting...

whatever...

finally handed in our paper for our group project at work... a whopping 81 pages.. lots of late nights, sorry.. endless nights.. but all done now. we have our 3rd development session next week, ending with our presentation of the project to the top execs of the organization. can't wait for this thing to be over... i've had enough of this.. actually, i've had enough of work in general. this real world thing is really not cool...