This post is in memory and in celebration of my “second” grandmom. Well, she’s not my direct grandmother on my mom or dad’s side. She’s my cousins’ grandmom who I’ve known since I was a child. She was someone who always had a smile on her face, and would ask about you no matter how little you might have thought of her. She showed her love in her smile, in her affection, in her cooking. While I’m sad that I won’t see her at future family holidays and get-togethers, I’m thankful that I had the opportunity to have her in my life, and I’m thankful that she is no longer suffering and that she is saved and that I will see her in Heaven one day.
At her memorial service on Saturday, I could not help but be proud and in awe of this generation of men and women who went through so much and did so much for future generations so humbly and with such humility. They are a generation that knew more about the American dream than any of us do today. Grandma Teng, as well as my own grandparents worked hard to raise a their children in a way that prepared them and gave them the possibility of having that American dream, for better or for worse. And once their kids were grown, some chose to come to America, others chose to stay in Taiwan, and once their kids had kids (my generation) of their own, many of our grandparents came over to America as well to care for their grandkids as their own children continued working towards that American dream. Achieving it was a family affair that crossed generations. It started with that generation – my grandparents and that of grandma Teng, planting the seed and painting the vision of the American dream in the hearts and minds of their children. Their children became citizens, and then that generation studied hard to gain theirs as well. I am fascinated that in both my grandfather and grandma Teng’s eulogy, there was mention of attaining their American citizenship – something that had significant personal meaning. For my grandfather who’s English was limited to “Hi how are you” and “I love you”, studying for that citizenship test was no easy feat, but one that he would be sure to conquer. The American dream meant something to them. It was a point of pride and success that I take for granted every day, and something that I am thankful to have privilige of. (please note all of this is based on my own personal perception and observation of my grandparents so don't take these thoughts as their true feelings – one day I will have to interview them).
Their generation also knows and lives community, whether that be in China, Taiwan, and now America. I can’t speak for their time in China and Taiwan, but seeing grandma Teng and my grandmom’s friends from their church chatting with each other, linking arms, half in supporting balance, and going to the bathroom together, to their commitment to their bible study group, and finally to where they have chosen to be buried when their time to be called Home happens. Grandma Teng was buried next to her community of friends who have passed, including my own grandfather, and also with those who have yet to pass but have purchased plots there. It is both reassuring to see the commuity that exists even upon one’s phsycial death on earth, and gives me hope in how that community continues and is perfected in our heavenly bodies. Their physical bodies are in community at the gravesite, giving those of us who are still on this Earth comfort knowing they are fine; but also reminds us that our spiritual beings live in community among other believers and our heavenly Father in heaven.
Honestly, I never thought too much about that generation because there is so much that I just don’t know about. Sadly it is sometimes too late to fill in the details and understand the journey they’ve lived. All I see is the short time that I’ve been old enough to remember and observe. But even in that brief time, it has been a privilege, and continues to be with my surviving grandparents, to get to know these amazing people who know so much more than we give credit for, especially as they age and require more support that can feel seemingly frustrating and time consuming. They don’t receive the respect or the dignity they deserve, and we owe it to them. Go and love them.
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