if this is what adult life is like, i quit...
i don't know how to deal with difficult people, and quite frankly, i'm tired of it. i give up... but then parents step in and pull me back into the game... i can't handle my own life.. yes, i'm getting stepped on... it's obvious... everyone except the one knows it.. i could play _'s game and do what __ done to me, but what would that do? just make me feel guilty, and plus, __ wouldn't even see __ own reflection through my actions... how do you love and care and yet not be stepped on?
finally this weekend, i think my dad started seeing the bigger picture.. it was interesting because he compared what i was going through to what JC had to go through... saying that what I'm going through might hurt and I might lose some stuff, but it's miniscule compared to what JC had to go through.. that was pretty cool... finally.. this was the first time that i felt like someone who has a major influence on my actions, understood...now the main problem is that my mom has not quite reached that understanding yet. this stupid situation is pulling apart my life and my parent's now! i'm sure it will pass soon.. hope so at least.
a few more days until i can just relax and not think about anything.. i cannot wait to get on that airplane to china... i cannot wait to sit there, motionless, eat airplane food, sleep, watch movies... for a full 10+ hours...
praying i can make it to sunday in one piece... work is stress... my love for food is evidenced by my constant eating at my desk.. you know there's a problem when i, out of all people, don't have time for lunch, and then don't have time to eat until 830... we also finally got the job listings for our next rotation. not too thrilled by any, but that's alright. i don't really know what i want to do anyways...i was already called to the program head to discuss my thoughts on the rotations.. how do i get pulled into this stuff??? somehow have to sort through all of those listings and select my top choices before I leave... now that would be in addition to closing up the other work i have to finish, packing up my entire apartment... yep yep.. it was decided that i would move out by 5/1... i return from china on 5/2, so basically i'm screwed. packing everything up tonight (and those of you who have seen my room before.. yeah, well, it's worse than you've last seen), bringing some stuff home tomorrow.. fit work in between, go shopping for presents for fam and friends in china, get a dress for my manager's wedding, get her present... yeah.. more or less screwed...
whatever, like i said... if this is what adult life is going to be like, i quit. i've just about had enough.
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