how to find/pick a job

sorry.. last of the long posts...My reply to a friend's email asking: can you tell me more about what kind of job it is that you got and why you were looking for that kind of job and why you decided to take it? does it have anything to do with what you majored in? and about the internships you've had before: were they related to what you studied? did what you study help in any way? did they provide any training, and was that training actually useful

hey ..i can't talk to long.. so let me tell you real quick how i came to my decision and all that stuff..

first things first.. i think what's most important in all of this job/future stuff is trusting God and seeking God's will for us.. No, it won't always be clearcut which way God wants us to go, however, I think He is honored and happy just by the fact that we consider Him first in all of our decisions.

I chose to be a poli-sci major because 1. after returning from china with the smile train summer of frosh year, i realized that i knew nothing about the world.. i met kids from other countires, such as uganda.. who told me that epople get their ears chopped off for no reason at all... and stuff like that really woke me up a bit.. i realized how amerocentric i had been and desired to learn more about the rest of the wordl.. 2. felt like iw as learning new stuff in SOME of my polisci classes...( some, meaning, the ones i actually stayed awake through).. 3. i didn't want to take orgo, physics, and go to school foreever...so no med school.. hehe.. switching to poli sci was very new to me because i am definitely more of a sciency person.. but it was challenging and i felt like i was learning, so i stuck with it..

why business? well, starting with my smiletrain internship, i began doing stuff like project management and designing and selling a project, developedinterpersonal communication skills nad stuff like that... realized that what i was doing at smiletrain was sort of buseiness oriented, so i pursued some internship that was more business worldy...

next summer interned at sbli usa life insurance.. a financial services company.. there i learned a lot about myeslf and about business in general.. working in the strategy planning group allowed me to taste all the different deparatment so fthe business and see how companies expanded and stuff like that. i was given some important responsbilities like leading company wide projects.. i found this all to be pretty cool.. i like planning things and leading projects and groups, and also like working on teams, with other people.. all key aspects of business..

i wanted to learn more about the financial business industry.. wall street and stuff.. got internship at morgan stanley.. let me see the more financial stuff.. so basically, since the smile train, i've gotten pretty good exposure to business and have forced myself to pursue it further.. my brother has also impacted my path towards business because well, he's in that field.. and since i've alwyas sort of followed in his footsteps.. it just seemed like the thing to do... (though i know this is very poor reasoning.. )

all fall i was doing the whole submit reume and interviewing thingy.. had some good interviews, but in the end, all rejections.. got quite used to rejectsions.. hehehe... (just blame it on the job market..). but after a really good 2nd round with ____( i really liked this company), and after getting rejected.. i got kinda depressed for a brief moment. i mean, this was around thanksgiving time, which is really towards the end of the recruting process for many of these top financial companies... but theni got mad at myself for getting depressed because i realized that God was in contorl.. that He has my life planned out, and that perhaps he just does not want me in finance..

so that's when i decided that i really needed to consider something else that he might have in line for me.. __ and some other staff workers that i've worked with through the years have sort of encouraged me to really pray about staffing with iV.. my response was always, ok, i'll think about it.. but inside i was always like, yeah right.. hehe.. i really did not want to staff mostly because of prideful reasons.. and i knew my reasons were not right, but that's just how i felt.. after these rejecttions, __ sat down to talk to me to really consider staffing more, and that's exactly what i did... it was crazy.. all these coincidences happened wherei would run into someone totally random at 7 am on the subway who attneds iv once in awhile.. and staffed years ago.. then she'd start talking about stuff. . and somehow, staffing would come up!! crazyiness!! so anyways, i basically go t really scared taht this is what God wanted me to do and i really struggled a lot becaus!
e i wanted to do what God wanted me to do, since after all he is the ultimate authority and I sing these praise songs and pray to God saying that He's awesome and that I trust his will an dstuff... but yet i still could not give my heart to God.. i was still learning towards somethign other than staffing...

so finally, after 2nd rounds with lincoln financial group (c0. i'm working for next year), i fall in love with teh company and the people and program and everything... after the interviews, i decided that if i get an offer from them, i will choose either lincoln or staffing with IV.

so i hear back that i got an offer, and i have less than aweek to decide.. eeks.. i get the offer on a friday, and the retreat is that weekend.. so it was perfect for me to really think and pray through this decision adn stuff...

so at the retreat i'm still struggling over this decision.. but my main struggle was not the decision itself, it was more of a inner heart struggle , i was getting mad at myself for not becaing able to give the decision to God.. you know wat i mean? sorry.. i guess it's kind of hard to explain.. i talk to some people , the senior girls and other peoples.. and i come to the decision to take the job.

why? well, i think God put this struggle over whether or not to staff in life because he wanted me to 1. always put God first.. in all decisions that i make and all that's given to me, i need to have Christ as the centerpiece.. because of the struggle i went throgh in this decision makking process, i feel that it has and will remind me that my top priority is God, not work, not school, not my parents...
i think he wanted me to share this experience.. of living the fiath.. to my friends adn others i'm close to.. i got to share .. about this.. i hope it showed them that Christianity is not just something i do on the weekend, but it's an always 24/7 thing..

i know that God will use me in either place, business or staffing, and after i got the offer, i could have easily said yes, i will take the offer without consulting God first, but as a Christian ("Little Christ"), I feel that it's important to bring it before God and seek his will... i didn't realize this, but someone who i talked to said that just by my struggling over what to do shows God that I have a desire to and am trying to seek his will... i hope so at least.. who knows.. 2-3 years from now, he might call me elsewhere.. maybe back to staffing.. that's what's so exicitng about the Christian life.. you never know where or what God will call you to.. but it's importnat for us to listen..

it didn't help that my favorite song.. use me here.. was sang 3 of the 4 praise sets at the retreat.. hehe.. "use me here, where i am, i'm not going to pray anymore that you'll change your plans...". hehe.. anyways, i'm totally at peace with my decision to take the job and i know God will use me there..

oh, the reason why i wanted to do finance in the first place was because i knew the environment will be totally crazy and stressful.. i hope to be alight in that environment... there are so many lost people in finance and well.. that's why we're out there...

more about the job i took.. i'm working for lincoln financial group.. they do a variety of financial service stuff... life insturacne, annuities, mutual funds, investment mangagement, etc.. i'll be in the lincoln financial distributors..official title: product/market development and communications associate. my division wholesales the company's products to intermediaries.. eg.. banks like merrill lynch and salomon smitth.. i'm not really sure mysefl what i'll be doing.. haha..

the program i'm in is called professional developemtn program (pdp). it's a 2-3 year rotational program, so next year i will be in a different division of the company so that i can learn about other parts of the business. (so who knows, i might end up in indiana in the retirment area or connecticut for life insurance next year) after my rotations, the goal is for me and the other pdp participants to role out into leadership positions, management, etc.. basically, they are training us to be the future leaders of the company... the training is all hands-on, as they know that i'm not too knowledgeable about finance and stuff.. they say that "knowledge" is the easiest thing to change (other personality traits, for example, would be harder to change).. so they want us to learn.. hopefully the guy i will be working udner will be cool.. lincoln's ceo and management want this program to work, so they're spending a lot on us.. so it's pretty cool... as related to what i studied!
.. i think you use the stuff you learned in school, like learning to think, analyze, answer problesms, working with people, etc... i know i'm not writing in gramamatical sentecnes.. sorry.. i really need to hurry.. but anyways, in other words, i will not be utilizing the stuff i learned in the texbook of my chinese politics class or middle east class in my job.. hehe.. okies.. hey, if you have nay more questions, i'dbe happy to answer, ok? i jut gotta be upreally early tomorrow so i need hit the sack..

just remember, seek God first and then all things will come, ok? i know that especially when times are stresssul, it's hard to incorporate God into our lives, but that's when we really need him... so put all the busyness aside for 10 minutes, and spend some time with him.. it's amazing.., really.. don't worry man, God's in control.. i praying for you, ok?

what do i think you should do? come back and play with me.. but i'm selfish .. hehe.. i miss my bao ber..
woh.. i just wrote a crazy long email.. osrry...
aight later.ss.