Still spilling?

Ok, other random thoughts that keep trickling in as I try to focus on building the brand identify of the org... man I have major add... this oil spill. Why is it taking so long to fix the problem? Can you imagine these poor animals who call that body of water their homes? Can you imagine yourself swimming in a pool of oil? or the communities who live along the coast there... Oh man... makes me cringe.

I picture the movie Apollo 13 where they guys are in the room trying to figure out a solution to the shuttle's problem. Come 'on guys and gals... you can do it. We've got to figure this out... I wish I could add more value than my useless thoughts but perhaps a word of encouragement. Keep up the good work... now solve the problem. You can do it. We're counting on it.

Every breath...

Listening and working to my iTunes. My mind usually compartmentalizes the music as background noise, but these words caught my attention... from the song "Every Breath" by Gateway Worship's Living for You album.

Lord, You’re so amazing to me, how can I find the words
To convey what Your love means, I’d give all I have and more
In the times I am weak, You come rescue me
Through the words that You speak over me
From the depths of my soul, Lord, I want You to know
That this life that I live is for You

Every breath, Lord, all that I am
I want my life to bring You glory
Every moment, with all that I have
I want my life to bring You glory

Forever I surrender

Running to the Hiding Place

Yesterday was a gorgeous day... and God knew I needed a gorgeous day, and scheduled activity I was pre-committed to... flag football. So great to be outside running around. After some Rita's, I got home and jumped on my bike for a quick ride to the art museum. My all time favorite place to "hide" and seek inspiration and have alone time with big papa is at the Lincoln Memorial in DC. It's not that far away, but by the time I'd make it down there, it'd be too dark to sit there and ponder, so I resorted to the Art Museum steps instead. Too bad I didn't have a bike lock with me - I ended up sitting at the bottom of the steps to watch over my bike.

Anyways, unfortunately it was also pretty late in the day and getting dark, so I couldn't stay too long, but it was nice to get away and have some alone time with him. He put some Psalms in front of me which was pretty encouraging. I'm sitting here doing some work in a Starbucks, and the Hiding Place song just popped into my head and I couldn't help but look up the lyrics. Here's part of it that I'm chewing on.

I have found myself a hiding place
I've found myself a secret space
In the refuge of the Father's care
In the cleansing blood of Jesus there
...
And though my fears may overwhelm me
And troubles they surround
Though the wind rise up to take me
My hiding place is already found

I found myself a hiding place
I found myself a secret space
In the shelter of Almighty's love
In the safety of the Savior's arms

Break my plans and use me for yours.

Why do I so stink at updating my blog.  A lot has happened, but I guess what often brings me to write is when I'm frustrated or just wanting to get lots of thoughts and feeling off my chest, without actually having to talk to anyone about them.  I guess it takes the place of having a physical pity party for myself and bringing those around me down with me. That would be a pretty pitiful party after all.

But before I blab away, a few updates on life in general, and I want to wish my best buddy Goldie a very happy birthday.  She passed away a few years ago, but her place as my doggy sister will never be replaced.  I miss you Goldie and I wish I could give you a big hug.

What else... I officially left my job on Feb 10, 2010.  It was the day of the massive snowstorm here on the east coast, so my last day ended up being celebrated inside my apartment, packing and figuring out how to get myself to Boston for the start of StartingBloc where I was leading the Social Innovation Competition the next day.

Since leaving, it's been a whirlwind, and I mean that literally... starting in Philly, trekking up to Boston for StartingBloc, flying back to NYC(which was a nightmare in itself as I was booked on the wrong flight and just barely made it back to NYC) to catch a flight to Vancouver to meet my brother and soon to be sister-in-law and her family for some Olympics and Whistler skiing fun, then back to NYC for more SB.  After making my way back to Philly for a weekend, trekked back up to NYC for more SB planning, back to Philly to pack for the annual ski/snowboard trip, fly to Utah for a week in the mountains with awesome friends, fly back to Philly and that night head right back up to NYC for SB Institute.  Woh, i'm tired just thinking about those few crazy weeks.

Then focusing more on EdGE - building it out, but then also working on a couple of side projects which became quite the time commitment.  Snuck out to LA for the !deation conference in LA, hung out with my good sista Jane, and met up with some old friends and family.  Projects I've been working on or am working on... SB of course.  Another was focused on the hunger crisis we face in Philly and has wrapped up. One that's still open keeps me running back and forth b/w NYC and Philly a lot... too much... Also starting a project focused on the city of Philly itself, while trying to build out the brand identity of this all and how to run a business and all that stuff that I'm clueless about.  Ack!

I am tired and frustrated and... hrmm... this past week in particular... very "pouty". i feel like a spoiled child that just wants her way, but i also want what my big papa wants for me.  but gosh, sometimes its just so hard to understand the why... and the how... and it just does not feel good to feel stuck in a rut.  i thought this was for Him but why this rut and confusion and frustration now.  i know He's teaching me and trying to change me and make me the person He's created me to be, but it's just so hard to understand and be patient and see through that.  I just want an answer now.  I just want the wrong doors to close and the right doors to open.  I know he knows best.  I say I trust him, but do I really?  why is this so hard.  i say this is for him, but is it really?  Man it is so hard.  I want His plan for me, but He's showing me the idols in my life that I need to get rid of, but it's so hard... it's so ingrained in who I am and how I operate and how I think.

Praying over my favorite song by everybody duck... that it wouldn't be nice words in a song but that i could pray this honestly and let go fully of any plans of my own, even the plans that are hidden in my own heart.

Use me here, where I am
I'm not gonna pray anymore that You'll change Your plans
despite my fear I place my life in Your hands
the future can wait, tomorrow might be too late
Jesus, use me here

I lay my heart's desire at Your feet, oh Lord
take all my hopes and plans and all my dreams
blinded by triumphs of tomorrow I've let sin control today
so many drowning within reach, father it's time You heard me say

Use me here, where I am
I'm not gonna pray anymore that You'll change Your plans
despite my fear I place my life in Your hands
the future can wait, tomorrow might be too late
Jesus, use me here

I tell myself I want to know Your will, oh Lord
still I confess I've had plans of my own
but from now on I pledge to listen to Your will and to obey
no matter what the future holds, I'm gonna live for You today

Use me here, where I am
I'm not gonna pray anymore that You'll change Your plans
despite my fear I place my life in Your hands
the future can wait, tomorrow might be too late
Jesus, use me here

Collecting Donations for Haiti

It sure has been a busy few days, but that is the least I can do given what is going on in Haiti today.  Yes this was thrown together at the last minute. We found out on Friday morning of the need for support and we jumped right on it.  Yes, it was last minute but at a time when every moment counts - each minute we wait, each minute those in Haiti are waiting.  We were happy to do whatever we could to support the work Partners in Health was doing in Haiti, and take up the charge to rally our Philly community to participate - gathering the specific items they were asking for.  We were working with charity:water, based on NYC, who works around our world on different water projects. Really great organization that  works with Partners in Health in Haiti.  And Partners in Health also has a long and strong history of providing healthcare for the poor in Haiti.

So, we got to work, crafting emails, reaching out to our respective contacts to get the message out, pushing it through our social networks, tweeting away. It's pretty amazing how fast things can mobilize through internet. Then made a list of potential retail donors and called away.... rejection after rejection (but for good reasons although it still stunk to be rejected... most companies had already donated at the corporate level and donations at local levels were being managed and potentially matched corporately!), but then whole foods in philadelphia offers 210 gallons of water!!!   then we had to break it to them that this was a homegrown grassroots effort and if machinery was needed to move it... well, we might need to scale back just a bit...  so, we went with 150 gallons.

On Sunday, we collected at my Church - so much in donations despite it being last minute and all.  Then folks from the community and random people who heard about it show up with donations.  1 day of collecting, 2 packed full car loads of donations with more at my friends house and more to be picked up.  That night we starting thinking, maybe we should get a truck.  Too tired to think, too congested to breathe, time to get some rest.

Monday's schedule:
10 AM - pick up 150 gallons of water @ whole foods.
11 - 12PM - pack up the rest of the stuff and load it all into the vehicles
12PM - leave for NYC
2-3PM - arrive and unload
3-5PM - head back and be home
5PM - conference call meeting

Here's what happened instead...
9AM - trucks are more expensive than anticipated and no response on possibility of them donating it for charitable reasons. start searching craigslist, penske, uhaul and calling them.
9:45AM - Uhaul truck secured for pick-up at 10:15AM in S.Philly.
9:46AM - get dressed and pack up final bits and ends
10:20AM - arrive at Uhaul, complete paperwork, head to whole foods.
11:10AM - arrive at whole foods. pick up water. decide that friend's van can fit the water + other donations. call uhaul for possibility of returning the truck and getting a refund.
11:45AM - Uhaul says yes on the refund (for the most part at least)! Drive to friend's house to pack up stuff, swap water in truck to van.
11:45 - 1:15PM - move donations in house onto street so easier to load. neighbors look at us as if we are crazy. elderly lady walks out of house and inquires as to what is going on. as we are loading things into the van, she brings out a foam pad to donate, then an old sleeping bag. super cute. we take it and load it into the van.
1:15PM - packed and loaded into the van. go return uhaul. van gets an oil change and tires filled. pick up vietnames hoages across st for a quick meal
1:45PM - finally on the road to NYC
2:15PM - pull over on side of highway - the car is unbalanced with all the water and weight. car is overheating.
2:..

this post has been in draft mode for months so i'm not going to try to update the rest now... but hopefully it gives some insight into our day.  eventually we made it to charity:water and dropped everything off... although on our return we had stop again as our tires were not going to make it.  anyhow, adventures... fun times... scary times... it all worked out just fine.

Praying for Haiti

God my heart cries out for the people of Haiti. I am overwhelmed by the tragedy and the sense of my own helplessness.  I've donated, but I want to do more... I've prayed and I must continue praying.  I must trust the power of prayer, but I can't help but want to be there with my own arms and legs, helping to dig people out and hugging those who have lost so much but have made it. 

I've been watching CNN and Nightline continuously for the past however many hours - the scenes continue to wrench at my heart.  Last night I saw a video clip that brought tears, but this time, tears of joy... as through this desperation, the Haitian people, having no where to sleep but the streets, gathered together to sing praises to God... despite the devastation and all that they had lost... to praise despite their circumstances.  Wow.

I'm also touched by the global community that has come together to help Haiti. Search and rescue, medical, and other experts and personnel from all around the world... China, Brazil, European nations, Russia, US... and many others... joining together to help.  I pray for unity among them all... that they could work together effectively to bring the most help to the Haitian people. Truly... a uniting of nations at work.

And a final thought, amidst all of this devastation and sadness and the few glimmers of joy, the thought that is keeping me up right now... how do we prioritize the issues and needs of our world.  The crises our world faces every day is tremendous.  I can't say to a child starving and freezing to death on the streets of Philadelphia that I must first take care of another problem going on in the world. A life is a life. I suppose the answer is just that - you can prioritize the immediacy of the need, but you can't prioritize human lives. It's not business planning.  Anyways, lots of things going through my mind right now.. but to sum it up... i wish i could physically do more to help.  continue praying everyone... and donating to reputable organizations working there now... worldvision... samaritan's purse... red cross... lots of others I'm sure.

"I Have A Dream"

I was looking through my old files at home in search of something, and came across a short essay I had written in 3rd grade or so.  I thought it was pretty interesting what I chose to write my essay on, even as a child.  Scary, yet quite amusing.  Reminds me that God does create and mold each of us in His image and for His greater purpose.  I guess it's always been in my heart...

Peace and Pollution

I have a dream to have peace.  Without peace, there will be more wars and fights.  Children may even learn that you should fight.  Without peace, this world might never survive.

My other dream is to stop the pollution.  One day, the pollution will stop and there will be fresh air to breathe.  The world may never survive if violence and pollution don't stop.

Happy Thanksgiving

...a day where we stuff our faces, enjoy time with family, and thank God for His blessings upon the family over another year... but did you know, it was not a national holiday until 1963?  Yes, the first Thanksgiving was in 1621 when the Pilgrims feasted with the Native Americans, but it was not until November of 1963, while in the middle of the Civil War, Abraham Lincoln proclaimed a national Thanksgiving Day to be celebrated on the last Thursday of November. I thought I might share his proclamation below, as a reminder of what this day is about and how it was originally proclaimed to be:

The year that is drawing toward its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added which are of so extraordinary a nature that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever-watchful providence of Almighty God. 

In the midst of a civil war of unequaled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign states to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere, except in the theater of military conflict, while that theater has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union.

Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defense have not arrested the plow, the shuttle, or the ship; the ax has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege, and the battlefield, and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.

No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy.

It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently, and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people. I do therefore invite my fellow-citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day of thanksgiving and praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens. And I recommend to them that...

... while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners, or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it, as soon as may be consistent with the divine purposes, to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility, and union. In testimony whereof I have hereunto set my hand and caused the seal of the United States to be affixed.

can i just complain...

can i just complain and vent for a second?  there is just TOO much that needs to get done in life. too many relationships to care for... too much work... too many tasks... too many requests... too many commitments... too many of everything...

often... like right now... i feel caught in the middle of things... of people... and i ask myself, what the heck am i supposed to do. it's especially hard when you love both people and ya get stuck in between... all the time.  somehow, i always end up in the middle, and i'm tired of it.  i wanna say to them... grow up... why don't you know how to love and forgive... Jesus taught us, didn't He?  why don't you get it?  is it that hard?  maybe i don't understand but Jesus does.  why can't you go to Him and instead of me?  put aside your egos and frustrations... LOVE. FORGIVE.

i have one of those old school WWJD straps that's been attached to my backpack since who knows when... probably middle school or something... i'm gonna start wearing it on my wrist, and flashing that to people when they've got a problem or complain about stuff.

and... I'm stuck in a rut... and i can't seem to get out.  i've got some stuff i need to write up related to my social enterprise with a firm due date... but i can't get it on paper.  God I need your wisdom... I need your direction... you put me here... this is your enterprise... this is your vision... help me put it on paper... all for your glory. please... my head is spinning. i'm desperate. i'm tired and overwhelmed. help me please. amen.

CALL+RESPONSE: What's your response?

Another event I attended...actually twice because it was SO powerful and I wanted to bring friends.  CALL+RESPONSE, a "rock"umentary film that reveals the world’s 27 million dirtiest secrets: there are more slaves today than ever before in human history. www.callandresponse.com for more information.  Wanted to share some notes I captured from that event as well:

• for all of us who are free, it's our obligation to do something.  if we do nothing, nothing will happen
• free your mind and your a__ will follow
• open source activism
• 2m kids are sold into sex slavery each year
• music is the only thing that can enter a person's heart and mind without permission
• most of us are in between a state of obliviousness and a paralysis of depair.  
• the cost to set someone free is approximately how much Americans spend on Valentine's day
• I don't want to wear someone's despair
• a slave worker in India, when asked how he keeps going despite the torture and conditions said that he takes pride in making something beautiful...
• slavery is about economics.  it's not about people trying to be mean to each other.
  
• in 1787, a group of men chose to get around a table and said to end the British slave trade.  that's like saying in today's terms that we would end the global automotive industry
• we need a 21st century abolitionist movement
• justice is what love looks like in public  

what's your response?

Oxfam Action Corp: Impact of Climate Change event

Last Tuesday, I attended an event/talk on the impacts of climate change, sponsored by Philly Oxfam's Action Corps.  Before I purge my notes, thought I might document some and share it here, more so I won't forget.  Diane Loucks, leading Mayor Nutter's taskforce on hunger spoke briefly and introduced Lance Simmens who currently serves as Gov Rendell's Special assistant for Intergovernmental Affairs.


Diane Loucks

• 1 in 5 in Philadelphia don't have enough food to meet basic needs... that equates to about 300,000 people... that's like all the people in Pittsburgh living in hunger.
• 1 in 3 live in poverty
• this is a slient but real problem here in Philly

Lance Simmens

• there is no issue more important than climate change
• the most vulnerable and worst hit by climate change are always the poorest - look at katrina and the lower 9th ward in new orleans.
• Churchill's comment in the Speech of Commons on November 12, 1936, that "The era of procrastination, of half-measures, of soothing and baffling expedients, of delays, is coming to its close. In its place we are entering a period of consequences." is now.  That period has arrived.
• there's enough energy in the sun to power the world
  
• china, usa, and indonesia are top 3 carbon emissions contributors
• the global climate is a non-linear system.  1 degree change at the equator is equivalent to 12 degrees at the poles.
  
• Thomas Friedman: "we have a subprime culture".  we need to change the way we think and act!
  
• if the US had continued to censure oil like we did between 1976-1985, we would not have needed Persian Gul oil in 1995. 
• it's not about politics - this transcends politics - this is so much bigger than politics... it's a global problem.
• deforestation - we lose 1 acre / second.  every 20mins, that's 1200 acres taken down for development.  trees absorb CO2 and covert it into O2.  WE NEED THAT!
• we have to be the "regeneration" - recycle, reuse, reengineer... otherwise our lives will be reduced, redacted, etc. we need to revive America.  Redefine, reenergize, revive this world - grab the challenge and reenergize the world.
• BANANA - build absolutely nothing anywhere near anything!  -Thomas Friedman
• lack of leadership is not the problem - it's a lack of statesmanship.  statesmanship entails wisdom and leadership.  there are very few out there.  
• we need to change the system - the only people capable of changing the system are the ones who benefit most from it.  government exists to correct market deficiencies.  we have the know-how, now we need the political will to do it.  we need to tell politicians its important - that's how we will change the system.  it's a tremendous challenge.  
• 風向轉變時,有人築牆,有人造風車 : when the direction of the wind changes, some (people) build walls, some (people) make windmills.

An updated testimony

So I'm finally formally committing to the Church I've been attending for the past few years by becoming a member... and as part of that membership process, I had to submit my testimony. I was going to take the easy route and copy and paste one I had written a few years ago, but... that didn't feel right... anyways, I thought I might share it on my blog too - after all.. it's a public profession so what do I have to hide...

..........................................

It wasn’t one specific moment or emotional experience that brought me to Christ, but it was through much prayer from others, youth group meetings and Bible studies, and “blind” discipline during my middle and high school years that caused me to see and accept Jesus as my Savior. It was in college when I feel God really reinforced my commitment to Him, opening my eyes to just how wretched a sinner I am and how much I needed Him in my life. In hindsight, I can see how God had planned and guided every step of the way. It’s a life-long journey, and God continues to reveal Himself to me in different ways, teaching me new and challenging things, and loving me for who I am – sinner and all. In my testimony here, I’m going to share the beginning of this journey and briefly touch on some recent experiences of how He’s working in my life and leading me along the journey today.

I grew up in a typical Asian-American family, where education came first, arguably even before God. From as early as I can remember, we attended Church services on Sundays, but we were never a very “religious” family. I knew the Bible stories from Sunday school, but they didn’t seem all that different from the fairytales and short stories like Little Red Riding Hood that I read at home, with the exception of the Bible stories perhaps being a bit less animated. I knew what “to do” and how “to act”, defined not explicitly by Biblical standards but by parental disciplining simply based on the common morals of our culture, which allowed us to easily fit into the typical Church-goer crowd.

It wasn’t until my early middle school years when I began to even begin comprehending God’s love for me. Albeit it was still somewhat superficial, it was the start of my spiritual journey. Sunday Church services were supplemented by Friday night youth discipleship classes where our adolescent brains were challenged by theological concepts, biblical teachings, and learning what being a Christian truly meant. Admittedly, the material we covered often surpassed my intellectual capacities; however those lessons began to form a strong Christ-centered foundation in my heart and mind. I began to see how much God loved me, and how much I needed Him. I am eternally thankful for our youth pastor who shepherded us during those formative years. I can still hear his voice as he told us every week that he prayed for each of us by name every day, and as he challenged us to read our Bibles and to be disciplined about having a regular quiet time with God. I know God heard our pastor’s prayers for us. It is obvious by looking at how the majority of us who were part of the youth group during those years have grown as men and women of God, committing our lives to Him.

I was baptized in March of 1994. I professed my belief and faith in God and called on Jesus to be my personal Savior. As I think about it today, sometimes I question whether I understood the public profession I was making or whether I was jumping on the bandwagon of being baptized since many of the other youth group kids did too – almost as if it being a “rite of passage” of some sort. But re-reading some old prayers from my journal that I had written during those years, I cannot doubt my faith and commitment that I had made then. I was simply an infant in my walk with God, and still had and continue to have so much more to learn.

During my high school years, I yearned to grow that personal relationship with Him, especially as the stresses of high school academics, extracurriculars, and social peer pressures grew, but I struggled. I practiced “blind” discipline, doing things like quiet times to check it off the list of things to do, reading Oswald Chambers and my student bible, and even journaling my prayers. I didn’t feel very close to God. Our relationship felt unilateral – I prayed a bunch of stuff and repeated it almost daily, and often did not hear a response. I taught Sunday school classes, lead praise and worship, and organized all sorts of activities and events for my youth group and Church. By the time I graduated high school, I was tired and burnt out from “Church stuff”, and while I yearned to hear Him and experience His love, I did not know how to. My life was filled with activities, commitments, and responsibilities from Church, school, and other extracurriculars.

As I entered college, I had planned to find a Church, but told myself that I was not going to serve or become too involved just yet. I wanted a break, I wanted to absorb and learn, I wanted to experience the different facets of college life and explore the great city I was now living in. But God had other plans for me as almost immediately after moving in, I had strangers contacting me to attend Christian fellowship events. I wondered if somehow there was some sort of “Christian” label attached to my name and email. 

I participated here and there in different fellowship activities, but was dissatisfied with the community who seemed to be so inwardly focused. The more dissatisfied and lonely I grew, the more I felt God calling me to stay and be part of that community. I didn’t understand why. At the same time, I had never felt so close to God before. He was teaching me so much through sermons and talks, the Bible, and through other “random” occurrences. Despite having read the passage in the past and not getting much from it other than a story, God put Luke chapter 5 in front of me one afternoon – the story about Jesus calling His disciples – and He dug deep into my heart, convicting me of the depravity of my sinfulness, and yet despite the wretchedness of that sin, He still wanted me to be part of His team, and to partner with Him in reaching our world. I was floored by both my sin and by His love. I realized to what extent I did indeed need my Savior, and sought to gain a deeper understanding of His love for me. I was in awe. I was in love. I was getting to know Him at a personal level, and it was awesome. All I wanted to do was get to know Him more and share this love with others. 

Since that experience my freshman year, it’s been my priority to seek God’s direction in all things that I do. God has given me a heart for loving and caring for His people – that is something I had known since a child. Prior to college, I had thought that would equate to helping people through being a medical doctor. However, during college, despite my extreme aversion, God took that passion for helping people, provided experiences to show me the extent of the social needs of the impoverished around the world, and showed me the influence business and for-profit strategies could have towards effecting positive social change and bring social justice. As He led my reluctant soul into the for-profit business world, I began to see why he wanted me there: 1) to be a witness to my colleagues around me; and 2) to build the skills and experiences, and apply them to serve the poor around the world.

As I look back at the past 5-6 years working for Lincoln Financial, I recall periodically questioning why God had placed me there. I wondered if I had heard God wrong and instead let the words of my practical family transcend my hearts desires. But God would remind me why when I needed to be reminded. Every role I held and all the seemingly “random” projects and relationships He placed in front of me, I can now see how purposeful they were and how God was using different experiences to teach me a new thing or sharpening a skill or characteristic. All of those experiences collectively have shaped my thinking about our world and around addressing global poverty and justice issues. 

I’m currently at a crossroads of significant change. I feel Him asking me to step out of the security and stability of the “boat” I currently sit and work in and from. He’s asking me if I truly trust Him, if I’m committed to Him and His kingdom. He’s assuring me that I am ready, that He’s prepared and equipped me with what I need, and that all I need for this next step is to trust Him and have faith. He’s given me a passion, a vision, and a strategy. He’s given me a network of peers to pray and support me. I’m excited to take up the charge, but at the same time terrified and so insecure, but I am learning daily to lean fully on Him. I would desire to be in no other place than in the arms of my Heavenly Father, holding me and preparing the path as I walk in faith, working with His greater Church body, together, building His global ministry and kingdom.

Yankees win!

I was a bit torn throughout, but I think my heart was leaning towards the Yankees all the way... sorry to all my friends who are Phillies fans...  one thing I forgot about was when I was 8, 9, or 10 or something, my friend Nancy and I were the two girls who were CRAZY about baseball.  I mean, we traded baseball cards with each other, created our own fantasy league teams (without actually officially playing), and would look up all the player stats on Prodigy... back way when.  We even created our own company... recently I unveiled a business card that Nancy and I must have put together for our company... Metankee.  I loved the Mets. Nancy loved the Yankees.  Mets + Yankees = Metankee.  Yes, we were strange children.

Anyways, I'm amazed at how international the Yankees are.  As the players were getting their moments on camera, they all spoke with accents. And how cool was it to see Matsui win the MVP, speaking in his native tongue, using a translator.  How cool is that!!!  Seeing and hearing the team reminded me of the diverse country we live in.  Another cool thing... there are so many Christians on the team.  I don't mean just the traditional periodic church goers, but devout believers who get the Gospel.  I read some commentary that you'd often see Rivera reading his Bible in the dugout... and that he wants to be an evangelical pastor after he retires... and there's Teixeira, Pettite,... and others...  and what's really cool is that they got up to the mic and boldly thanked God... not in that generic way, but you could tell there was something deeper there...

Anyways, didn't turn the game on until the 6th inning because my roommate and I had some friends over who share a similar heart for social issues and social justice.  Really great conversation over an awesome thai curry that Jenny, my roommate made. Yummy...  alright... need some sleep... desperately.

Phillies vs. Yankees... a major dilemma for some

For the most part, I won't talk about this publicly for fear of... well... Philly fans.  Those from Philly or know of Philly sports fans know that sports are taken extremely seriously in this town.  I mean - throw out any attempt of being respectful or to that matter... even civilized.  Philly teams are the one and only.  Everyone else... well, I think Philly sports fans would say... they suck.

Honestly though, having grown up in central Jersey, I was a hardcore NY Mets fan, with the Yankees pretty high on the list.  I didn't like the Phillies - I liked the Phanatic, but at the time, the Phillies were quite bad.  I remember I used to always want to go to Mets and Yankees games, but my dad would never take me because he hated driving into the city; so periodically he'd take my brother and I to Phillies games.  Still fun, but usually I'd be rooting for the other team. 

I must admit, having lived in the Philly area for the past 4 or 5 years, the Eagles and the Phillies have grown on me.  I mean, I'm no die-hard sports fan in general - I love playing sports - but as far as following - not nearly so much.  I like the Phillies, but I also like the Yankees.  The question now becomes, which one do I like more... enough so that I would root for one over the other.  It's a tough question, especially when all my close friends here seem to be pro-Phillies all the way.

So who really cares and why is this on my mind?  Well, I'm comforted by a NY Times article posted today that shows that I'm not the only one torn up on this issue.  The article is about my tiny hometown, and how it's smack dab in between NY and Philly.  Now, you see... the reason why I'm struggling with this goes much deeper... it goes down to my roots...

October 29, 2009 

Living, and Torn, Between Two Cities

If any spot could be torn apart by the World Series, it would be the town of Cranbury, N.J.
As far back as Colonial days, its Cranbury Inn served as a popular halfway stop on the two- or three-day journey by stagecoach between New York and Philadelphia, and these days both Yankees and Phillies rooters can be found at the inn’s bar.

“We swing both ways here because we have so many connections to both,” said Gay Ingegneri, who with her husband, Tom, has owned the inn for the past 14 years. “We’re definitely on the fence. Our emotions seesaw a lot.”

Exhibit A for this quandary of allegiance is Mrs. Ingegneri herself. She grew up in a small town in eastern Pennsylvania and spent four years living in Philadelphia when she was training as nurse, so she roots for the Phillies when they play any other team except the Yankees. But as the teams prepared to square off in the World Series opener Wednesday night, a childhood memory nudged her heart toward the Bronx.
....
But geographically speaking, there is no town that more capably serves as a midpoint between Yankee Stadium and Citizens Bank Park in Philadelphia.

The town of 3,200 people is in both cities’ orbits, about 50 miles from both New York and Philadelphia, and residents travel to both by driving 15 minutes to the Princeton Junction station, which is on the Amtrak and New Jersey Transit lines. The town also gets television channels from both New York and Philadelphia.
...
for the full article: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/29/nyregion/29midpoint.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion

Today, over 25,000 children died around the world

Doing some research on poverty issues... came across an article from March.

Over 25,000 children die every day around the world.
That is equivalent to:

• 1 child dying every 3.5 seconds
• 17-18 children dying every minute
• A 2004 Asian Tsunami occurring almost every 1.5 weeks
• An Iraq-scale death toll every 16–38 days
• Over 9 million children dying every year
• Some 70 million children dying between 2000 and 2007

The silent killers are poverty, hunger, easily preventable diseases and illnesses, and other related causes. In spite of the scale of this daily/ongoing catastrophe, it rarely manages to achieve, much less sustain, prime-time, headline coverage.

The continuation of this suffering and loss of life contravenes the natural human instinct to help in times of disaster. Imagine the horror of the world if a major earthquake were to occur and people stood by and watched without assisting the survivors! Yet every day, the equivalent of a major earthquake killing over 30,000 young children occurs to a disturbingly muted response. They die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death. - A spotty scorecard, UNICEF, Progress of Nations 2000

Rest of article: http://www.globalissues.org/article/715/today-over-25000-children-died-around-the-world

THIS IS NOT OK.  How can we sit here and eat, drink, play?  I ask myself that as I comfortably sip my coffee in what could be described as a luxurious coffee shop (Cosi's) in downtown Philadelphia...