one day at a time... work hard, play hard, train hard...

So random... I think I posted a similar entry last spring.. last weekend, I ran into Coach Dre again (HS track coach) at a restaurant.. so random.. i used to run into him all the time, all over the place... slightly odd that it's continued through college and work life!!

Anyways, so because the WUSA crashed, many of the pro players are signing with the league that I played in last summer... apparently Brandi Chastain has already signed with some CA team.. pretty cool, except that my team for some reason is not playing in that league this year.. and there don't seem to be any other teams close by... sucks..

i'm kinda bummed cuz i spoke with a coach of a jersey team in a sister league to the one i played in, and he wants to see me play and compete for the position, but then he continues to say that i would be competing against a girl who played with the u21 national team. great, thanks, i'll just take a seat on the bench and go home crying...

i guess there are 2 options to take.. give up, which i've never quite been good at; or fight for the position... but is it worth the time and effort, and is it worth being the underdog the whole way through the fight? i don't know. at this rate, i've got no chance... believe it or not, today was the 1st time i stepped in my gym since probably november.. yeah, since i hurt my leg... my main form of exercise was walking to the fridge and grabbing food at work, and playing soccer once a week.. that kind of shows you where my heart's at.. if i really wanted to play, i would have been training the whole time through...

i often wonder why i want to play so badly.. is it to prove something to my family (coming from a typical asian family that encouraged education a lot more than anything else) that i can succeed in this sport and reach my childhood dreams that have constantly been greatly discouraged?? or is to prove something to myself... i really don't know anymore. am i still dreaming and setting myself up for failure?? i feel that God has something in store for me in this line of business... playing on the Peking U. softball team really let me see the gifts that God has graciously given me, and well, i see those gifts carrying over onto the soccer field with the members of a soccer team...

i'm confused.. clearly.. haha.. nothing new i guess.. yeah, i could just play for fun, but i'm never happy just "playing for fun.." i tried that this past fall... i guess i really need to keep the focus on the big man. in the end, it's ultimately about Him, not me or my childhood dreams or whatever... i guess i'll just try to focus on one day at a time.. work hard, play hard, train hard and not worry about what happens this summer.. what happens happens.. easier said than accept...

getting late...

confused

We had this National Sales Conference last week right in Philly. I thought I'd have a nice break by attending the conference, as things before the conference were really crazy as we got together all of our materials for a presentation we were giving (compliance is mad strict nowadays), but man, those sales people sure can party! Mike Egruzione (is that how you spell his name??), the US captain of the 1980 Olympic hockey champions, opened up our event with a great talk on teamwork... then we had this other speaker who was AMAZING to close the conference... apparently one of the top motivational speakers in the world or US?? (i guess they have competitions or something).. anyways, he was real good... spoke on the topic: "attitude is everything"... bringing people to tears and all.. wow. if you weren't motivated after that, well.. don't know what would. so clear that he was a Christian... the way he spoke, the language he used... wish you could've heard him.. real good..

the sales conference was great, except that it confused me even more! after the conference, you couldn't help but want to work for my company. i'm definitely excited for the co., as i think we're going to have a great year, but if you had asked me a week prior to the conf., you totally would have heard me saying.. "i don't know.. work is alright.. not sure what i want to do.. kind of want to go to china... teach, play soccer...," and leaning towards that direction, now, well, i may be leaning in the opposite direction. eek!

To make things worse, I got the privilege to help out with 2nd round recruiting yesterday and today...bad idea (but great too). It was really neat to be on the other end of the process, talking and actually interviewing people, and picking and voting on who I felt was a good fit for the program (quite a harsh process i must say). It was a great experience though, but really weird because it was me exactly one year ago, sitting in that same hotel room, having the same cocktail party at the same place... very odd.. met a few columbia kids too! There's definitely some impressive people in that crew, so I'm excited, especially since my overall top pick will be getting an offer for my position in my business unit! Hope he accepts!

Now I just have to figure out where the heck I want to go next year... hopefully not Indiana, but as I've been saying for the past 2 days... (i've basically brainwashed myself into believing that any location will be great cuz it's only 1 year), it won't be that bad. I'm not sure if the motivational speaker got to me, and now all of a sudden i have this overly positive attitude towards the work that i do, or if i've just sold myself and the program so much the past 2 days to recruits or what.. but I've successfuly convinced myself, and hopefully the recruits, that lincoln is great and the pdp program is awesome...well.. anyways, i guess i've just confused myself even more on what to do with my life.. i'll probably be around lincoln. it's hard to separate yourself now.. after telling the whole world that you love it and all. i really wish i could just take 1 year off to explore a bit, see if there's something else out there, separate from the financial services industry, that i'm more suited for.. well, i guess we'll see.

Anyways, i am exhausted and desperately need to catch up on sleep.. so goodnight!

PHS's famed Studio Band director, 'Dr. B,' dies

We may have complained about the endless sectionals and practices and "going down the line" sitting in utter fear, but I definitely appreciated and will continue to appreciate his passion for music and the drive he instilled in us to be the best of the best. Thanks for the incredible music education you gave us all, Gunga Din, and my red lobster. PHS's famed Studio Band director, 'Dr. B,' dies

By: Jeff Milgram , Staff Writer 12/30/2003

	Staff photo by Frank Wojciechowski Anthony J. Biancosino conducts the Studio Band in a concert given in his honor in 2002.

A teacher who inspired students to take up careers in music.

Anthony J. Biancosino, the director of Princeton High School's award-winning Studio Band who lost a battle against cancer Saturday, was remembered Monday as a teacher who inspired students to take up careers in music.
"His impact was huge," Princeton Regional Board of Education President Charlotte Bialek said Monday.
Known as "Dr. B" to students, parents and staff members, Dr. Biancosino, 57, was a music teacher for 35 years, 26 of which were in Princeton.
He was an inspiring teacher to "thousands of students," Ms. Bialek said.
"Many of them went off to careers in music. He was an incredibly inspiring teacher," she said.
The best known may be John Popper, the leader of Blues Traveler, who has said that his success in the music industry is due to Dr. Biancosino's mentoring.
"Obviously, we are all saddened by the news, even though we knew he was ill and had undergone surgery," Superintendent Claire Sheff Kohn said Monday. "He had such an incredible love of life and enthusiasm. ... He'll be a great loss."
Dr. Biancosino conducted his last concert with the Studio Band in June, when he announced he would retire. He had been on leave while battling colon cancer, but had returned sporadically to conduct the jazz band, which had played at two presidential inaugural balls.
In 2002, Down Beat magazine, the Bible of American jazz, presented him with an Achievement Award for Jazz Education.
"With the enthusiasm that Tony Biancosino exudes for jazz and its contribution to American musical culture, it's no surprise that ensembles from Princeton High School's music program win first place awards at festivals and get invited to play at presidential inaugural balls," Down Beat said in June 2002.
"He was wonderful and the students really loved him," Ms. Bialek said. She said Dr. Biancosino taught music at PHS at a level typically taught in college.
Dr. Biancosino was the founder and conductor of the American Heritage Wind Ensemble.
Dr. Biancosino's younger brother, Joseph Biancosino-Downey, will be the Studio Band's new conductor.
In April, the Studio Band beat eight other ensembles to be named the best band at the Dunellen High School Invitational Jazz Festival.
"They couldn't have done it any better," Dr. Biancosino said at the time.
At a concert in June 2002, Dr. Biancosino pointed to the Studio Band and said, "I always felt they were an extension of my family ... and that's how I treated them."
Before the June 2002 concert, Dr. Kohn said, "Tony Biancosino is an enthusiastic teacher, band director and person. I feel fortunate to have had him in my career and in my life."
Dr. Biancosino said the school has a duty to teach music and the payoff is what it does to the students. "They give everything," he said of his students. "At the end of the process, their lives are changed."
Trained as a classical musician, Dr. Biancosino told Down Beat, "When I entered teaching, I found a huge void about American music, specifically jazz. Many schools pay lip service — they'll have the ensembles that do jazz in the evenings, but they're not part of the curriculum."
He said if students can do jazz improvisation, "they can do anything." Members of the ensembles learn to apply music history, theory and improvisation to what they're playing.
"It comes right through the ensembles, right through the arrangements we're doing whether it's Count Basie or Les Brown, whatever we're doing," Dr. Biancosino told Down Beat.
And he uses jazz education as a base to teach other music, such as clas- sical symphonic works.
"My philosophy is if you can play a refrigerator, if you tell me you can play one, bring the refrigerator in. I want to hear it. And if you can play it, you're in. There should be no exclusion of any student because of the nature of the instrument. We're here to teach children. Let's give them an education," he told Down Beat.
Former student Peter Winarsky said he learned perseverance, confidence and discipline from Dr. Biancosino. "He really does care about the students more than anybody I've seen," Mr. Winarsky said in June 2002. He was one of about 200 students who belonged to PHS's Meat Club. Dr. Biancosino was the faculty adviser to the club, which held an annual steak dinner.
"He definitely has a great sense of humor," Mr. Winarsky said in 2002. "The humor just shines through. We bust each other's chops, but it's all in fun."

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year! Another ball drop, another year passed...

My brother and I spent our New Year's eating SPAM... yes, the stuff that comes out of the jar. It was actually surprisingly quite good.. my church friends were having an Iron Chef night (wish i was there to see the chef's at work), using SPAM as the main ingredient. Spam stroganoff, spam sticks, spam stir fry, spam with A-1, oh, spam pizza bagel??, and last but not least, chocolate covered spam... i think i'll lay off the chocolate covered spam in the future. :)

Definitely lots of fun being back with the brothers and sisters that I grew up with. It's really neat to see how much each and every one of us has grown up and matured. I'm so thankful for all of you! Who knows where I would have ended up if it were not for you guys/gals and our youth group and our Friday nights with Joshua's discipleship classes... Wow, how old were we when we started having those? 6th grade? Man, we're old.. anyways, now that we're old, there just never seems to be enough time to catch up and reminesce on our past...

New Year's resolution: QTs in the morning (please keep me accountable to that), & get my lazy behind to the gym!

Have a good one!

Does PowerPoint make us stupid? Tuesday, December 30, 2003 Posted: 10:42 AM EST (1542 GMT)

Yeah, technically it's not right to take things out of context... but I just couldn't resist using the headline. After spending all day at work powerpointing away, I can't help but wonder... is powerpoint making me stupid???

see you next year

Ignites.com reported: "The investor exodus had begun in earnest, and eventually would add up to $40 billion in outflows, knocking Putnam from the fifth biggest mutual fund company down to sixth."

How does a company lose 40 BILLION bucks and move down 1 spot, from 5th to 6th? Sheesh, I thought they'd be kicked off of the top 10 at least.

Talk to you next year!

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!

So since last I wrote, some interesting things have happened... I passed a securities license exam, networked with my company's CEO on the soccer field (and nearly broke my leg playing), my cousin was stabbed (in Brooklyn, so all of you folks out in the city, please be careful), saw the Lion King (great show), Return of the King was really good too... and, really most of my time has been spent at work or studying.. and thinking about what the heck I want to do with my life.

I don't know.. work is not bad.. I'm definitely learning, but I feel like there's so many other things outside of the financial industry that I want to experience and try. I'm torn because I like the company, and have networked a bit within the company. I also think that the program I'm in is very good and something that, if I were to stay in this field, would want to be trained and grow-up and broaden my business/financial experience through. I guess the main problem is that this is something that I can do well if I work hard (as can anybody), but I just don't know if I want to, or if this is what God has planned for me...

I know that God is in charge of my life, and has put me in this place, in this job for a good reason, but it's just been difficult for me to be satisfied with what He has graciously given me. I know I need to be more thankful and live one day at a time, but it's been quite a challenge. I feel like all I do is work. I wake up early in teh mroning, go to work, sit there all day, come home, then study for work or do research for other projects. I know that God is using this time right now to prepare me for what lies ahead, but it's difficult to not know what lies ahead and be satisfied with the situation at hand. (did that make any sense?? probably not..).

Anyways, so basically, I'm a bit confused right now, but that's alright.. that's life.. For now, I'm just looking forward to using my 2nd official vacation day of my adult life tomorrow and hit the slopes at Mountain Creek... really wish i had winter break...

Merry Christmas, and if I don't write before the new year hits, Happy New Year!

work-life balance?

Isabel... perhaps a state of emergency will be declared in pa, and i won't have to go to work!!! fat chance... i don't even hear the whistle of the wind or the pounding rain..

so work life... i guess you can never really win.. i got loaded with a lot of work today, so it's kinda stressful, but at the same time, lots of work forces you and challenges you to learn and get caught up on the things necessary for you to get the tasks that need to be done. if you're not challenged, then you're just sitting there bored, which really isn't much fun either. oh well... hehe...

almost the weekend! women's world cup kicking off this saturday at lincoln financial field! can't wait! my dad's taking me to the games.. anybody want tickets, i might be able to get a COUPLE... email me at tw195 asap.

bye! Jared, so when did you get this soccer kick? we never got to play this summer!!! next time...

transitioning to adulthood

Alright, so things have changed quite a bit since I last wrote. Well 1, I finally have a computer that has a working backspace and enter key. and fast internet... ahhh...

2, I've entered the real world.. the work world... very scary I admit it, I definitely belong in kindergarten, where teachers nurture, you get snack time, take naps, play... what else could you ask for?! (On a side note, the day before I started working, my dad looked at me straight in the face and said, "Now Tammy, it's okay to be a baby at home, but you can't be a baby at work, ok?" said that with a very straight face...:)) Actually, it's been what, a little over a month since I first started work, and I am just about ready to retire!

3. My house isn't my home anymore... My parents closed up our house, the house I grew up in since I was like 7 or 8. It was sooo sad. Oh well, it's not like they moved far, just to a different place.. not happy about that...I have so many memories of that place.. and, my doggie's ashes will remain there forever without me... :(

4. Not only did my parents move, I too have relocated to Philadelphia. It's okay I guess--a pretty cute city, but it just isn't good 'ole New York City... Man, things close so freakin early here, like earlier than things in the suburbs I grew up in... no joke..

So this summer was pretty good.. nice and relaxing. All I did was eat, sleep, and play soccer. I was playing in this awesome league on a horrible team.. well, we lost every game, some of them pretty badly, but it was cool to see our improvement (can't tell by the scores.. hehe)... what do you expect? our team was newly put together, whereas the other teams had been playing and practicing together for years... plus, they had like 2x the # of players we had, so by the 2nd half, we were just too tired, which then led to the unfortunate situation of tammy, being the goalie, getting screwed... oh well.. it was fun to travel in a tiny van every weekend. i even signed a few autographs (despite the fact that we lost a game 10-0.. that was a first for me)! then i started working at this christian soccer camp. now that was pretty cool.. i definitely wish i could do that full-time... this work thing... really gets in the way of my desired schedule..

Alright, so anyways, I guess work life is alright. Orientation was great fun. We were basically treated like kings and queens, did some team building stuff at a ropes course place, went to Eagles training camp, met the kicker... pretty fun time. To my dismay, real work at the office is not nearly as exciting. However, on a positive note, work is almost like college all over again, cuz there are a bunch of first and second year people in the program that I am in, so we basically go out, play, eat lunch, and work together... so that keeps things somewhat lively. I am learning a lot though, which is good I suppose... hehe...

Just found out last night that the WUSA is terminating. That kinda bums me out cuz even though I'm far from getting there, at least i had something, some sort of goal to work for. I guess we'll see what happens.

alright, well, that's enough for now. i hope you all are doing well. i really miss all of you, the young'ens at school and the older people, me included, friends and family... i apologize for being bad about kit... summer was pretty filled with craziness and having a very slow computer using a modem and phone line to connect to the internet, just made for a poor situation... anyways, hope all is well!! have a great day!

oh finals... lots of memories.

it's been awhile since i wrote.. you know the deal...finals... so i'm sitting here in the 3rd floor lerner computer lab, munching on carrots and a snack bag of cheetos.. yeah, you know, those little bags mom and dad used to pop in your lunch baggy...finished my last final.. and now trying to write this 20 page paper for my seminar class.. and progress is being made very slowly.. hehe.. i'm coming to the realization that it's all coming to an end... so after 5-6 consecutive days of 2-4 hours of sleep every night 2x a year, it's finally coming to an end. this is it for me, well, at least for undergrad... as much as it sucks when you're actually going through it, i think i'm going to miss stayign up all night, constantly snacking in desperation to keep the body awake...

well, it's been fun studying, sleeping in lerner these past 4 years... lots of memories here.. hehe..

aight.. sheesh.. gotta get this paper done. good luck all!

umm... not so sure about philly

yo man, i don't want to live in philly... check out the stats!

violent crimes (murder, rape, robbery, assault) - NYC: 977.8; Philly: 1571.6
property crimes (burglary, larceny, auto-theft) -NYC: 2744.8; Philly: 5180

what the heck man! no one told me about this! and i thought nyc was bad....

missing china

i really miss my buddies from china and the country itself, so well, hope you don't mind as a reminisce a bit this week on my xanga...

welcome to my favorite restaurant in China... and in the US too.. apple pies in asia, oh, and in puerto rico, are soo much better than ours, yummy!

meet my friend sylvia...can you guess which one she is? she's my buddy from vegas... yeah, vegas.. people actually live there... from ciee china program... good luck girly!

...i'll have to repost these pics...

yummy food...

i hung out with my mommy and her friends in flushing today. yo.. they have some goood food in flushing mall.. really good fruit smoothies.. or whatever it was i ordered.. i wanted a simple mango smoothy, with fresh mangos.. but of course, i stupidly decided to initiate the ordering process in chinese.. so i say..yeah, i want a mang guo (mango) flavored one (pointing at the picture).. and then she says some stuff really fast in chinese or hong kongese or something. she was obviously asking me a question, so i'm like.. duh.. uhh.. so i look at the menu on the wall, and i start feeling really stupid, cuz i don't know what the heck she wants, and i can't read any of it... hahaha.. except for this one that says (bing sha).. so i got that .. and whatever, in the end it was really goood.. also in flushing, there's this great place, on that street that ten ren is on, that has really awesome shaved ice stuff.. woh.. really, really good..

i think flushign will be my new place to study.. i actually got a lot of reading done hopping from teahouse to cafe while i was waiting for my mom...

have a great Easter sunday y'all!

true love

YAY!! if you think i'm happy... i wonder what heaven's like right now!!! probably a huge party up there for our new sister!!! yay!!

the point that chris white made about the presence of a God.. if you believe there's something out there.. some superior being or force that created this earth and the complexities of human beings, then you had better do some searching.. find out who or what this God or whatever is... you can't keep on sitting around waiting because the truth of the matter is, you never know when your life, or this world, will end. personally, i think it'd be really sad to be living for nothing.. there has to be a purpose why i'm on this earth, and the first thing i would want to know, before stressing about my papers and studying, is who or what i'm living for... i don't konw.. at least that's how i feel.

it makes me sad knowing that some of my friends and family don't yet know the truth i hold... and i want so desperately for them to know and believe the living truth, but yet often i find myself too worried about the small things... like how my friend will react, or what they'll think of me..., and so end up either sharing a diluted version of my walk with JC, or not sharing anything at all...

actually, i find it interesting that it's often the christians who are afraid of speaking the direct simple message of JC... instead, we work around speaking the truth with tangential arguments and comments, waiting for that one right moment when you will confront your friend with the truth... (i don't think that made any sense.. whatevers)... but what defines the "right" moment? does that "right" moment ever come?? if we keep on living like that, we're not going to be doign what God's called us to do. we need to be bold... step out of our comfort zones...

i dont' want to wait any longer... i want my friends to know JC on a real level, not just a holiday/Sunday Christian kinda deal... i mean, what if something did happen... what if, God forbid, their life was taken unexpectedly... how horrible would it be to know that i would never ever see them again... i would feel so guilty... i love seeing and being with my friends and family on earth now.. i'm sure it'll be 20 million times better in heaven, where there aren't all these horrible worldly sufferings goign on...

Jesus died for me today... Good Friday.. he died an extremely painful death for me and for you... he was a good, innocent, and pure person, and yet he had his hands and feet nailed to a cross, and left to hang and die there... and he did this for me and you.. he did it so we could be washed free of our sins, and so that we could live forever with Him and God in beautiful heaven... if only we accept him...
now that's love.

you can either accept it, or not.... but then, what are you living for? if you believe there's some greater power out there, then please, find out who or what it is... don't wait until it's too late, and feel free to chat with me about it.. alright.. i'm off to Good Friday service.. laters.

creating man and woman

sheesh.. i keep on leaving my keys in my room.. i must really be getting old...

up all night working on a paper about saddam hussein. any questions about him while he's still fresh in my head?

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."