Proud of America...

Change has come... Since Barack Obama won, I've felt this overwhelming sense of nationalism and patriotism. I am proud of America and I'm proud to be an American - we've really grown up, as a nation, as a people, as citizens of this world. The American dream is an achievable goal.


I went to an event to watch the election results live at World Live Cafe in Philadelphia. With every vote, the crowd cheered and celebrated.


It was also neat to vote in a state that mattered, although in the end, Pennsylvania chose Obama by more than a small margin.



And then after I left World Live Cafe, the streets of Philadelphia went crazy! I ran into a line of Penn students marching down Market Street with signs and a cardboard Barack cutout.

Obama's speech... excellent... amazing... inspiring... I wished I was in that crowd in Chicago... yes, I was tearing up.

Happy times for Philadelphia...and the country...

It's been awhile since my last update. I'll post some catch-up blogs later, but right now, it's time to celebrate! The Phillies won the World Series last week, and this week, tonight, Obama was elected the next President! Partying on the streets of Philadelphia all night long! I've high-fived a lot of random strangers these past couple weeks. The City of Brotherly Love is actually showing some love... a happy Philadelphia... amazing.... love it.

Phillies clinch the NL East Division


...then they win the World Series! I didn't go to that game... but went to celebrate after the game at Dicks Sporting Goods with GWL... where 6 cop cars stood outside as fans barged through the store shopping for World Series Phillies gear past midnight. A much more civilized celebration... vs. the mayhem that occurred on Broad Street.

Then the city celebrated - Phillies Parade on 10.31.08 - Celebration at Citizens Bank Park and Lincoln Financial Field.
...getting there was not so easy...

...but once we were there it was awesome!



...and then Obama was elected President the following week. I'll share some of those pics later.

i am so inadequate yet you use me. i offend you every day yet you love me. it seems i forget who you are at least once every hour, probably more than that yet you never give up. not ready to be your vessel yet you equip and prepare and say you are ready.

i'm so tired. i always feel behind, unprepared and overwhelmed, and lately, just not happy. i want to be joyous and thankful - why is it so difficult? i need you to give me strength, because i can't do this all on my own. give me direction. use me for how you've created me. don't let my logic, attitude, and emotions get in your way.

So I was chatting with my buddy Tomo who is playing in Japan (without me!). Here's a snippet of our conversation - this is how I function at work:

Tomo: how's work? can you do it w/o moving?

Me: uh yeah.. well, i've been wearing soccer shorts and tshirts to work for the past 4 weeks

Tomo: SWEET. hahaha, that's awesome

Me: but i just sit around... but then i go crazy because i hate just sitting around... so then i start gimping around

Tomo: HAHAHA

Me: and then i feel stupid because i don't like being seen in the ghetto outfit and a huge leg brace, so then i sit back down... and i do this over and over again all day

My typical day… hide from people – work at the coffee bar or on the lovesacs or in some random corner on the floor… bathroom break, run into people, explain what happened blahblahblah… go back into hiding. Luckily have not had too many meetings this past month – most have been with folks within my team so that makes it a lot easier and less of me feeling silly. I’m so silly – it’s all in my head…

are you having trouble getting started?

So I started going back to the gym last week - i'm sure it's quite a funny scene as I gimp into a gym with a huge leg brace on and an obvious limp. I thought I might jump on the bike - needed some cardio desperately and plus, it's good to help increase my knee's range of motion. Well, range of motion I definitely got, but cardio was a definite no. So I'm sitting there, trying to get the pedals around - seems simple but it was quite the challenge, and I'm concentrating and avoiding eye contact with people who must be looking at me like I've got major issues or thought I was crazy... a 70-80 year old man sits down on the bike next to me - he couldn't really see my bum knee, but he sure could see that I was struggling. He starts pedaling away, and looks over at me and says: "are you having trouble getting started?" All I could do was smile and sheepishly explain that I hurt my knee as he encouraged me on... just keep trying... you'll get it. Funny, but sad... haha... the good news is that I can now bike more or less like a normal person. Was hoping to try spinning soon, but got the no go on that from the pt.

Oh, and apparently a new phrase has been coined at work. To "pull a tammy" means you neglect the fact that there is something medically wrong with you, pretending that it will go away and refusing to seek or putting off professional medical advice despite clearly needing a medical solution. My boss "pulled a tammy" 2 weeks ago when he was clearly feeling very ill, but waited and pushed through the weekend, downplaying his symptoms. When he went to the doctor on Monday, he sent him right to the hospital. He is thankfully doing great now... and vows never to "pull a tammy" again.

moving to blogger?

so not that i've ever been good at this blogging thing... but i'm gonna try out blogger. not that i have a problem with xanga or anything... just want to try something new. i don't know - i guess i like the idea of having a personal (well, i guess it's not really personal by posting it on the web) journal of major things going on in my life... the thoughts that ran through my confused mind... kind of a "dear diary" or some sorts i suppose. well, maybe i'll get better at blogging, but i make no promises.

thankful but frustrated

It’s hard to describe how I’ve been feeling lately. I guess it’s a mixture of sadness, frustration, and thankfulness.

Thankful… I have awesome family and friends who support me and play with me, love me despite my strong-willed desire for independence and stubbornness in asking and accepting help. And I’m thankful that my knee is improving despite the frustration that often takes over because of its temperamental nature – it has its good and bad moments.

Frustrated… I want to be able to do what I want to do – lift my leg without grabbing my ankle with my hands, get dressed without breaking out in a sweat, walk like a normal human, run around, kick a ball, do everything I used to be able to do on my own timing (meaning not have to give myself an extra 10 minutes to hobble from place to place, get myself into a car and out, etc.-let's face it, i'm a true procrastinator). Frustrated because I’ve had to cancel 3 vacations already since I injured the knee, and I just want to be able to do stuff. It’s summer and I want to be able to play… Frustrated because any progress I make in physical therapy always seems to be offset by this painful catching/stuck sensation in my knee that stops me from bending the dang thing. and PT, wow – I have pretty high pain tolerance, but ouch. Frustrated because I feel stupid wearing this stupid, very large (thankful it is shorter than it was the first couple weeks but still large) brace, gimping around in soccer shorts because it’s the easiest attire to get on over the brace. I hate calling attention to myself, and well, this stuff sure ain’t helping. Sometimes I wish I could wear a sign that explained what happened and that I just don’t want to talk about it. When people ask how it’s feeling – I just don’t know what to say anymore. Do I tell them its better – I mean, it is compared to where it was – or do I tell them how it really feels and how I really feel – do I even want to open that can of worms? blahblahblah...

Sad… I don’t want to be dragged down by this knee but it’s just so physically and emotionally draining that sometimes I don’t know what to do except be sad. After I come home from work or PT, I am so drained that I all I want to do is lay on my couch or in bed and move nothing except a finger that triggers the remote control. I’m sad because I know there’s so much for me to be thankful for. I trust God that He has my life in control and that He had His reasons for this, and I want to draw closer to Him through this time where I am physically forced to “be still”, but yet it’s so hard. I’m sad because I want Him more, yet I’m having a hard time drawing closer to Him. I think of all the suffering going on in the world – what I am going through is NOTHING compared to that – I know that yet I’m struggling to change my heart and how I’m feeling. I don’t know – I guess that makes me sad… I know how lucky I am and how miniscule my issue is compared to all that’s going on in the world – if only I could refocus on others, I know it would change my heart, but I don’t know why – it’s just so hard right now.

Anyways, I guess I just want to be myself again. I guess I just don’t like being the center of attention whether it’s from others or from me. I like to think and care about others because I believe God’s made me thataway, and that is just really hard right now. I’m in a rut… frustrated, sad, and not thankful enough. Hopefully soon I’ll have a turnaround…

My beautiful knee

Before June 2, 2008... ...4 days later on June 6, 2008


my make-shift bed at my parents house. I was excited to find Carebears on TV on Saturday morning.

2 days post-surgery

so i guess i can start by sharing what's been going on in my life. well, i messed up my knee on april 19 playing flag football, and i just had surgery on monday june 2 to get it fixed up. if i had posted something on sunday, the day before surgery, i would have shared how weird it was to be preparing to not be able to do stuff on my own for awhile. i mean, by sunday, i was able to walk pretty speedily without anyone noticing anything was wrong, and pretty capable of most anything (other than sprinting through chicago o'hare the week earlier on a business trip as i trekked from one of the airport to the other to find myself successfully begging the lady to let me on the plane). and then i spent the weekend buying stuff i might need after i'm gimping along, returning things i wouldn't be able to do for awhile... very strange.

anyways, on monday, my mom and i left my apartment around 5 in the morning and made our way to the surgery place in south philly. i was hoping i wouldn't have to get general anesthesia - i wouldn't have minded watching if i could or hearing the noises going on - but they insisted on knocking me out... so they injected me with some stuff, wheeled me into the operating room, and the next thing i know, i'm vomiting all over myself in recovery. yes, i'm sure it was lovely - good thing i was still pretty out of it to be too embarrassed. i vaguely remember the doc saying: "clean her up". haha... anyhow, surgery went well, and then my mom took me home to my rents' house in jersey.

it's been 2.5 days, and i'm so sick of sitting on my makeshift bed on the living room floor. there's nothing on tv, and netflix doesn't come fast enough when you've got nothing to do but watch videos. i brought home a lot of reading, but really don't feel like doing anything that requires any brain power. all of that power is spent figuring out how to maneuver from bed to toilet to kitchen table back to bed and into this contraption that i strap my leg into to get some motion back. trust me - all of that takes tremendous amounts of energy and brainpower... especially for those with limited brain capacity. anyways, things are going well i suppose.

i'm being kind of antisocial right now i apologize, but thank you for the calls and emails and posts. i'll look forward to catching up soon. i don't know... laying around all day seems to make me more tired, mentally and physically drained.

Happy Birthday Goldie!

Happy Birthday Goldie! I hope Yeye found you in heaven and is celebrating with you!!! Love ya and miss ya! I'm glad you have a familiar face from the family up there with you!
...not proud of the glasses... or my brother's flannel shirt that i'm sporting...

So it's been a few weeks since my gramps passing and I'm finally starting to face the world head-on. It feels good to embrace the world (outside of family) and not avoid people and dealing with life... really nice to get caught up with friends.


This weekend, my mom and I went up with my cousin Efren to see his sister Fay (my cousin)'s art exhibition opening reception up at Real Art Ways in Hartford, CT. Had an excellent time with Efren, Fay and Fay's BF and family, my mom - nice mother's day.
my favorite pic... better in person. www.fayku.com
Her art was also in this week's NY Times magazine! http://www.nytimes.com/2007/05/13/magazine/13funny-humor-t.html

Mother's Day lunch in Hartford - The Rajun Cajun - unlimited Southern food...yummy...


Mother's Day - stroll from Elizabeth Park, Hartford - Tulip Garden

Tribute to "Yeye" (Gramps)

I've been spending a lot of time with family lately. My cousin made me sign up for facebook... so i reluctantly did... and the next thing I know... I'm connected to the whole world - people I haven't talked to in forever. Fun... I think it's been my coping strategy - kinda drained lately and well, facebook is easy... don't actually have to talk to anyone... just find people, poke them, write on their wall... painless.

So I know every time I write in my xanga, it's always sad or something... and I know I've promised that I would write about the happy times, but I guess life gets to you and it's just hard. I mean, I write in this because I want to keep these memories forever... not to depress the world. I do want to remember the happy times. No promises but I'll try to write more. Anyhow, my gramps passed away a week ago and I wanted to share about him because he was truly an awesome man who meant a lot to me. I had the privilege of sharing at his service. I have a lot more to share - the weeks before his death and all that I want to capture as memories forever, so maybe that will be my next posting. Anyways, thankfully He was a believer and I am confident he is with God now and I can't wait to see him again one day. First portion below is his bio, and then some stuff I shared about him. Please continue to pray for my grandma.

Tai-Yung Wang
May 15, 1910 - April 20, 2007

Brother Tai-Yung Wang was born on May 15, 1910 in the Li Ling district of the Hunan province in China. He was the ninth of ten children in his family. During World War II, he decided to fight for his country and joined the Chinese AirForce Academy at Hangzhou, Jian Qiao. He quickly moved to the top of his class and out of thousands, was among the few selected to participate in a special training program in America and became a B24 Liberator bomber pilot. Upon returning to China, he fought in the Second Sino-Japanese War, risking his life for his country. He successfully completed many missions, the most famous of which was the sinking of the Japanese flagship at the Battle of Huangpu River. For that, the country honored him as an “Air Force Hero”.

After the war, he married his beloved Ho Sun-Sen in Shanghai in 1946 and had four sons: Xiang (Bosco), Tseng (James), Chih (Franco), Rei (Ray). They each wed, adding four daughter in-laws to the family: Mann-Rong, Hsiu-Chen, Chaun Feng, Jia Hua, and then nine grandchildren: Burkon, Tammy, Burchung, Burton, Po-Yu, Po-Wei, Po-Yah, Po-Kai, Po-Shuan – a total of nineteen members in this loving family.

Brother Tai-Yung was a humble man. He was a man of principle and self-discipline – always doing what was right and never compromising his morals. He was a loyal and responsible person, a good husband, a good father, a good grandfather and a great role model to all. Even though times were hard, he gave his all to his family and provided the resources and support to achieve them no matter the sacrifice.

In 1984, Brother Tai-Yung came to America. He attended an evangelical church retreat and became a Christian. He testified: “Before I knew Christ, I always thought everything was based on pure luck. After I believed and was saved, I learned that God is in control and everything is in His hands.”

Brother Tai-Yung attended the Bergen Christian Testimony Church and joined the Rockland County Bible Study Group and was a member of the Church’s Senior Citizen Fellowship. He loved to worship, praise, and adore God.

On Friday, April 20, 2007 at Good Samaritan Hospital in New York, surrounded by his wife, his sons, daughter-in-laws, and his grandchildren, Brother Tai-Yung peacefully went Home to be with the Lord at the age of 97.

My Testimony About My Gramps

On behalf of our grandfather’s nine grandchildren, I’d like to thank you all for joining us today in celebrating the life of our grandpa – our Yeye. We each have many memories of our Yeye. He was a loving, caring, determined, hard-working, happy, funny, and fun grandfather. He was always smiling and laughing – and saying the silliest things and making us laugh even though I don’t think he was actually trying to be funny.

Yeye was surely a hard worker. I remember him working hard at learning English. He never quite perfected it, but he was never afraid to practice it, using his key phrases whether it was with his grandkids or just random strangers – like the waitress at Applebees: “How are you? You like me? I like you.”

He loved us all so dearly and cared for us. He would always ask about school, remind us to study and work hard, and as I got older, the question turned to relationships – ni you “peng you” ma? - do you have a friend? Nainai tells me that Yeye was seriously concerned about my future husband and family. Yeye promised that he would find me a boyfriend at the local Shoprite grocery store – and I believe he was serious.

Yeye was just a funny, loving, joyful person to be around. We truly have been so blessed to know him and have him as our grandpa.

Personally, Yeye and I – we’ve always had a special bond. I’m not sure if it’s because I was the first girl in 2 generations – a special girl and granddad relationship; or maybe it was because I would unashamedly soak up any type of spoiling that was available with an innocent and cute smile and ask for more.

From as early as I can remember, Yeye was in my life – he’s really been there for most of my 25 years. Before I started school, he was my babysitter – my playmate. We used to hang out, watch “The Price is Right” with Bob Barker at 11AM, play doctor – okay, I played doctor and he was always the poor patient that I would inject with my Fisher Price plastic syringe, he would even cook lunch – I loved his cooking – shen li mian – ramen noodles… at that age, I had no idea it was so easy to make – I was impressed! And then of course, we would exercise together. We used to have this indoor exercise bike. Everyday we would ride that bike, and Yeye would encourage me on and say “jia you, jia you” – literally, to fill up your gas tank – “jia you, jia you”, don’t give up, and my short legs would pedal harder, faster and faster.

As I think back on those years, I realize what an impact Yeye had on my life. He instilled that determination, a never give-up mentality into my heart at a very young age when we rode that bike and he pushed me on with “jia you, jia you”. Yeye is a fighter – even the last few days of his life, Yeye pushed on to stay alive, waiting for his family to be at his bedside to send him Home. It was a final testament of his determination.

I’m so thankful that God created Yeye, and the wonderful family he blessed him and my Nainai with. I’m so thankful for God’s love, his ultimate sacrifice – for giving up his innocent and precious son to be nailed to a cross and suffer for me so that I could be forgiven and one day go Home to heaven. I’m so thankful that Yeye came to know Jesus and our heavenly father while he lived down here on earth. I am sad that I can’t call my Yeye over the phone or visit him at his apartment, but I am also joyous because I know, without a doubt, that Yeye is up there hanging out in heaven. His body is strong, his memory is clear, and he is hanging out with our heavenly father, watching over us; and one day, I’ll be there with him. He’ll greet me with a “how are you. I like you”, and we’ll ride that exercise bike together and cheer each other on with “jia you, jia you”. We’ll eat his favorite Pizza Hut pizza and Pepsi “tang”, and joke and play… like good old times.

Thanks God for giving us such an awesome grandpa, and thanks Yeye for living a beautiful life on earth. We love you. Give Goldie a big hug and kiss for me.

Remembering Goldie

Today was my best friend and 4-legged sister's birthday... she passed away a few years ago (wow, can't believe it's been over 5 years - seems like just yesterday!). Anyhow, happy birthday Goldie! I love you! I'll have to post some pictures of her when I get a chance. I wanted you all to meet my baby... my dad wrote this 'eulogy' following her passing... it's kind of sad, but it tells you a little about her.

To those who know Goldie: December 2000

Goldie, who was a greyhound and the only 4-leg member of our family, left us on 11/15/2000 at the age of 15. Burkon and Tammy were informed of a week later when they came home for Thanksgiving.

Goldie acted perfectly normal a night before (11/14/2000). She had a good appetite and completed her meal quickly that night. She went to the back yard for her routine business around 11:30 PM and then stayed in kitchen with Helen who was reading newspaper passing mid-night.

That night (actually early morning of 11/15/2000), Goldie passed away very peacefully while sleeping on her pillow next to the dinner table in kitchen. No sign of struggle during her last moment. In fact, Helen noticed nothing unusual in the morning and left for work quietly in attempt of not disturbing Goldie's sleep. I came down around 7:30 AM and observed Goldie showing no sign of chest movement which I had been watching closely for the past few months. I was stunned and my mind went totally blind. I shook her without response and repositioned the pillow under her head for comfort (Goldie's body was too long and most time her head and tail stretched outside of the pillow). Her body was still warm (maybe it was a shining morning and house heater was high) but a bit stiff. I moved her body into a huge transparent plastic bag and carried to the garage where the temperature was much cooler. I did not know what to do at that moment and, therefore, went to office to get my mind straight. After few phone calls with the veterinarians and animal hospitals, I went home with a dozen of yellow flowers. I carried Goldie into the van (reminding me of carrying her to upstairs for her last shower a week earlier) and drove to the Plansboro-West Windsor Animal Hospital (Goldie loved to ride in this van). A hospital technician helped me to lay Goldie on a cold metal operation table and left us alone for the final moment. I put the flowers and a big name tag in the bag to avoid any possible mix-up. I hugged Goldie gently and told her that we would miss her very much. I thanked her for being a loyal guardian angel for our children for many years and told her to enjoy herself in Heaven with no more worry since kids are now the grown-ups. I also told her that she would be cremated privately (Goldie was always nervous when with other 4-leg friends) and her ash would be returned home to be buried under her favor evergreen where she always sat or laid in the summer.

Before coming to our home 11 years ago, Goldie was an outstanding champion dog and won many trophies during her racing career. I was told that her best record was about 40 miles per hour. We rescued her from a racetrack in Boston after her retirement at which time more than 90% greyhounds were put to sleep at age of 3 or younger. She weighted 65 pounds, stood at an approximate 25 inches in height and 30 inches in length, and had a short coat of brindle (striped as tiger) color (see attached). Despite her big size, she was a gentle and affectionate companion. Goldie faithfully accompanied our two children through the elementary and high school years. She missed them terribly when they left home for college, particularly when Tammy started college last year. Maybe Goldie thought that she was on longer able to watch over the kids on earth and decided to continue looking after them from the Heaven. Recently, Helen and I were discussing how to accommodate Goldie due to our upcoming overseas trip. We considered to board Goldie in a kennel or the greyhound adoption center although she definitely would not like it (Goldie had never been in such facilities). She might overhear our conversation and decided to leave on her own without adding burden upon us. She was so thoughtful and left us with guilty feelings.

We believe that Goldie had a good life in our home and certainly enjoyed her retirement here. She was a significant part of our family. She had the best personality among all family members including myself because she always listened and never complained. She liked Chinese food, enjoyed car ride, listened to karaoke singing, and loved being with children. Although we miss her deeply, we are happy for her being in Heaven now. We will remember Goldie forever.

purpose-driven life...

please lift up a prayer for mr. and mrs. yang and heidi (sister) as they go through this difficult time of loss, that God would bring them comfort and healing, and that God would be their strength through this sadness. henry went up to be with the lord after a car accident on sunday. mr. yang is still in the icu and not really sure if he knows that henry has left us. also pray for all that were touched by henry's life on earth - that they would be comforted by the Lord and would continue to trust Him despite the pain and confusion.

praying for our little henry (i guess not so little - 14, though I still seem him as a 7 year old) and his family... seems like just yesterday when i met this roudy and mischievous one - probably was like 3 or 4 at the time or something. i'm so thankful that he has grown to know and love the Lord over the years and dedicated his life to Him. i know it's really difficult right now, but i pray that his brief life on earth continues to be a testimony to those who knew him. we might not understand God's plans right now, but keep your trust in Him, and know that He is God and that Henry is up there, partying with our heavenly Father, where one day we too will join them up there in celebration. Look forward to it, and know that henry is in a better, a happier place.

if any of you pcc'ers need anything or someone to talk to, drop me a comment, an email or call me any time of day, okay? i'm praying for you....

a sad wake up call to what's really important in life. life really is so fragile and so short. i need to stop worrying about the trivial things on earth and focus all of my efforts on working for his glory and his glory alone. if i'm not sharing the good news, then what am i doing wasting god's precious time. i just watched the movie "pay it forward". watching that, accompanied by this sad news, really makes you realize that God does have a purpose for each and every one of us on earth, and that He is in control of our time here on earth. we may not get it now, but we will one day. working for His glory...

Are we adults?

Wow.. it's been awhile... been busy. unfortunately i'll have to keep it short. i'll write more later... promise.. hopefully by the end of the week - that's the goal.

anyways, i was watching grey's anatomy last week and got a kick out of something meredith grey said... kind of how i feel sometimes...

"We're adults. When did that happen?!?
And how do we make it stop?"

"Responsibility, it really does suck."

grandmom and grandpop

my grandparents just left... well, they're at the airport getting ready to go.. back to taiwan... possibly for good. i just spoke with both of them and i have to admit, i'm quite sad about it. i don't like to think about it, but it did cross my mind that today could have been the last time... anyways, prolly and hopefully not ...

they've been in the US, watching the family grow up forever... i don't know when exactly, but they've been living here since i was a baby. The only babysitter I ever had, that I can remember at least, was my grandpa. He walked my bro and I to school everyday when we lived in NY, made ramen noodles for lunch when I came home from 1/2 day kindergarten.... we used to ride the exercise bike together - i'm not sure how we managed to do that together - but anyways.. now that I think about it, that just might be where the inner drive and determination (for certain things at least) in me began to develop. he used to always say "jia you," which literally translates to "add oil" to keep us working hard and keeping the pedals moving...

i always had a special relationship with them, especially my grandpa... now with alzheimers, i'm still the only person, outside of grandma, that he has a clear recollection of. gramps and gramm had 4 boys, who decided to keep the family tradition up by having more boys.. then i was born and the world became a better place - just kidding. there is now another girl who came later, but she's in taiwan. so naturally, i was the spoiled one that emerged in the family.. the little princess who is and forever will be grandpa's little girl. if there's a problem - which more often then not there is, at least in gramps mind - if I were asked to be the mediator, gramps would listen to me and everything would be alright...(it may sound cool, but it's tough work... especially recently with alzheimers added unto his stubbornness... my poor grandma... all i can say is patience and love).

my grandma's also quite the woman... she is, what can i say.. the typical grandma... loving, always preps good food for us... i don't know how she does everything... she's been so depressed lately. i've had conversations with her sobbing and stressed with gramps attitude and going back to taiwan... crazy stuff...

so basically, the main reason they're heading to taiwan is for my grandma to have a knee replacement, but while they are there, they will be checking out some "facilities." grandpa's expecting to come back here, as this is where he calls home; but i think grandma realizes that that might not happen... she kind of feels like she's getting booted away from us. anyways... complicated stories... issues... of course i'd like them to come back here, but i think taiwan will be good for them. hopefully my grandma will be able to have more of her own life there, instead of constantly being a slave to grandpa... i guess we'll see what happens.

so i'm realizing that i mostly only write in my xanga when i'm sad or stressed about something... and i will work on providing some more postiive updates on what's been going on in my life. but for some reason, writing here, for example right now.... has made me feel better. kind of soothing and relieving to get all the tears into words.

promise.. the next entry i provide will be positive.. when i'm not sad.... cuz things have been busy, but relatively good. till next time....